English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
Belcher snatched up a heavy chair as though it had had no greater weight
than a matchbox. A lightning, rapier lunge with the poker—an unpleasant
_sizzling_ sound—and the chair crashed harmlessly to the floor. The now
painfully singed “trooper” fell back on to the Chesterfield, groaning.
Again my bell rang.
“Hand the key to Mr. Raymond, my man,” ordered O’Hagan; “and replace
your filthy rags upon your indecently nude person.”
Belcher threw the key across the carpet. My mind had assimilated a
profound truth of the Higher Jiu-Jitsu: brute courage falters in the
presence of hot pokers. I went to the door, and upon the landing stood a
dazzling vision in leopard skins.
“My ’usband!” (The vision had a French accent.) “Is he here? Yes?
Quick!”
She slipped past me, as an animal growl sounded from within. My rooms no
longer were my own, but were become a rendezvous for insane
meetings—for nightmare encounters. I re-entered the bear-garden which I
had been wont to call my study.
The leopard lady was kneeling beside the wounded Mr. Belcher and
explaining in voluble syncopated English that his suspicions were
groundless, that it was a “boom,” no more; that he must _not_ kill
Captain O’Hagan.
“My impression, Raymond,” said the latter, focussing me across the room,
“is that our friend Belcher has recently left jail.”
“What if I ’ave!” roared that maltreated ruffian, starting to his feet.
“This,” replied O’Hagan with suppressed ferocity, “that if you are
present in another minute I shall send you back again! _Madame!_”—he
bowed to La Belle—“kindly remove your property from my friend’s
apartment—I would suggest that you deposit it in cold storage—and
permit me to say that I had credited you with nicer taste!”
He placed a cigarette between his lips, igniting it with the now
white-hot poker.
—————
V.
BELCHER THE THOROUGH.
“It is singularly illustrative of the obscure psychology of the lower
orders,” said Bernard O’Hagan, “this marrying habit of Continental
music-hall artistes. The female of the species may drive, take supper,
and accept diamonds from men of pedigree; but she always marries a
prize-fighter or a bookmaker. It is a process of natural selection,
Raymond. When out of the proceeds of a successful professional career
she invests in a husband, she ‘backs her fancy.’ I have known Spanish
dancers who were adored by reigning monarchs to have unsavoury husbands
concealed in all sorts of filthy alleys; and one lady circus rider to
whom I was presented in Budapest proved to be lawfully wedded to a
retired Paris sewerman. Zoologically, the habit has interest.”
Our inquiries at the hospital discovered Mr. Brandon to be on the danger
list.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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