The ExplorerMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
The Explorer
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
British -- Africa -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
She looked down at her dress. Its half-mourning still betokened that she
had lost one who was very dear to her, but the black and white was a
mockery. She remembered in a flash the stunning grief which Alec's
letter had brought her. It seemed at first that there must be a mistake
and that her tears were but part of a hateful dream. It was too
monstrously unjust that the fates should have hit upon George. She had
already suffered too much. And George was so young. It was very hard
that a mere boy should be robbed of the precious jewel which is life.
And when she realised that it was really true, her grief knew no bounds.
All that she had hoped was come to nought, and now she could only
despair. She bitterly regretted that she had ever allowed the boy to go
on that fatal expedition, and she blamed herself because it was she who
had arranged it. He must have died accusing her of his death. Her father
was dead, and George was dead, and she was alone. Now she had only Alec;
and then, like some poor stricken beast, her heart went out to him,
crying for love, crying for protection. All her strength, the strength
on which she had prided herself, was gone; and she felt utterly weak and
utterly helpless. And her heart yearned for Alec, and the love which had
hitherto been like a strong enduring light, now was a consuming fire.
But Alec's words brought the recollection of George back to her
reproachful heart, and she saw the boy as she was always pleased to
remember him, in his flannels, the open shirt displaying his fine white
neck, with the Panama hat that suited him so well; and she saw again his
pleasant blue eyes and his engaging smile. He was a picture of honest
English manhood. There was a sob in her throat, and her voice trembled
when she spoke.
'I told you that if he died a brave man's death I could ask no more.'
She spoke in so low a tone that Alec could scarcely hear, but his pulse
throbbed with pride at her courage. She went on, almost in a whisper.
'I suppose it was predestined that our family should come to an end in
this way. I'm thankful that George so died that his ancestors need have
felt no shame for him.'
'You are very brave.'
She shook her head slowly.
'No, it's not courage; it's despair. Sometimes, when I think what his
father was, I'm thankful that George is dead. For at least his end was
heroic. He died in a noble cause, in the performance of his duty. Life
would have been too hard for him to allow me to regret his end.'
Alec watched her. He foresaw the words that she would say, and he waited
for them.
'I want to thank you for all you did for him,' she said, steadying her
voice.
'You need not do that,' he answered, gravely.
She was silent for a moment. Then she raised her eyes and looked at him
steadily. Her voice now had regained its usual calmness.
'I want you to tell me that he did all I could have wished him to do.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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