The ExplorerMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
The Explorer
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
British -- Africa -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
But if Lucy had lost her old love for her father, its place had been
taken by a pitying tenderness; and she did all she could to conceal from
him the change in her feelings. It was easy when she was with him, for
then it was impossible to resist his charm; and it was only afterwards,
when he was no longer there to explain things away, that she could not
crush the horror and resentment with which she regarded him. But of this
no one knew anything; and she set herself deliberately not only to make
such headway as she could in the tangle of their circumstances, but to
conceal from everyone the actual state of things.
For presently Fred Allerton seemed no longer to have an inexhaustible
supply of ready money, and Lucy had to resort to a very careful economy.
She reduced expenses in every way she could, and when left alone in the
house, lived with the utmost frugality. She hated to ask her father for
money, and since often he did not pay the allowance that was due to her,
she was obliged to exercise a good deal of self-denial. As soon as she
was old enough, Lucy had taken the household affairs into her own hands
and had learned to conduct them in such a way as to hide from the world
how difficult it was to make both ends meet. Now, feeling that things
were approaching a crisis, she sold the horses and dismissed most of the
servants. A great fear seized her that it would be impossible to keep
Hamlyn's Purlieu, and she was stricken with panic. She was willing to
make every sacrifice but that, and if she were only allowed to remain
there, did not care how penuriously she lived.
But the struggle was growing harder. None knew what she had endured in
her endeavour to keep their heads above water. And she had borne
everything with perfect cheerfulness. Though she saw a good deal of the
neighbouring gentry, connected with her by blood or long friendship, not
one of them divined her great anxiety. She felt vaguely that they knew
how things were going, but she held her head high and gave no one an
opportunity to pity her. Her father was now absent from home more
frequently and seemed to avoid being alone with her. They had never
discussed the state of their affairs, for he assumed with Lucy a
determined flippancy which prevented any serious conversation. On her
twenty-first birthday he had made some facetious observation about the
money of which she was now mistress, but had treated the matter with
such an airy charm that she had felt unable to proceed with it. Nor did
she wish to, for if he had spent her money nothing could be done, and it
was better not to know for certain. Notwithstanding settlements and
wills, she felt that it was really his to do what he liked with, and she
made up her mind that nothing in her behaviour should be construed as a
reproach.
At length the crash came.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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