Long after the children had retired to bed Uncle Felix sat up alone in
the big house thinking. He made himself cosy in the library, meaning to
finish a chapter of the historical novel he had sadly neglected these
past days, and he set himself to the work with a will. But, try as he
would, the story would not run; he fixed his mind upon the scene in
vain; he concentrated hard, visualised the place and characters as his
habit was, reconstructed the incidents and conversation exactly as
though he had seen them happen and remembered them--but the imagination
that should have given them life failed to operate. It became a mere
effort of invention. The characters would not talk of their own accord;
the incidents did not flow in a stream as when he worked successfully;
life was not in them. He began again, wrote and rewrote, but failed to
seize the atmosphere of reality that alone could make them interesting.
Interest--he suddenly realised it--had vanished. He felt no interest in
the stupid chapter. He tore it up--and knew it was the right thing to
do, because he heard the characters laughing.
"I'm not in the mood," he reflected. "It's artificial. William Smith of
Peckham would skip this chapter. There's something bigger in me. I
wonder...!"
He lit his pipe and sat by the open window, watching the stars and
sniffing the scented summer night. He let his thoughts go wandering as
they would, and the moment he relaxed attention a sense of pleasant
relief stole over him. He discovered how great the effort had been. He
also discovered the reason. It offered itself in a flash to his mind
that was no longer blocked by the effort and therefore unreceptive.
"A man can't live adventure and write it too," he, realised sharply.
"He writes what he would like to live. I'm living adventure. The desire
to live it vicariously by writing it has left me. Of course!"
It was a sweet and rich discovery--that the adventures of the last ten
days had been so real and meant so much to him. No man of action,
leading a deep, full life of actual experience, felt the need of
scribbling, painting, fiddling. "Glorious, by Jove!" he exclaimed
between great puffs of smoke. "I've struck a fact!" He had been so
busily creating these last days that he had lost the yearning to
describe merely what others did. The children had caught him body and
soul in their eternal world of wonder and belief. Judy and Tim had
taught him this.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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