The extraordinary confessions of Diana Please — John Shaqi
The extraordinary confessions of Diana PleaseCapes, Bernard
General
The extraordinary confessions of Diana Please
Capes, Bernard
Femmes fatales -- Fiction; France -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Naples (Kingdom) -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
“After you, sir,” answered the other politely.
My master, looking horribly ugly, repeated his demand.
“Well,” said the steward, “this is fair humours, Newcastle asking for
coals!”
The words were hardly out of him, when my master smote him down, and
pushed into the house. He gave a little quiver, like unstrung wire,
and lay senseless, the red running from his nostrils.
_Mon chéri_, hast thou ever seen a pack of mongrels snarl aloof,
fearful and agitated, about a dog-fight, and in a moment break in with
coward teeth upon the conquered? So over the body of the steward
trampled this rabble, blooded now at another’s expense, and reckless
in its consciousness of self-irresponsibility. They had found a
champion to take the onus of this, and all worse that might happen,
off their shoulders.
But they were destined to discover no further chestnuts for their
catspaw. The Jesuit had fled, it appeared, with the rest of the
family; and so they must content themselves with wrecking the private
chapel, where the household was wont to practise its treasonable
rites.
Now, my master, who was eager after spoil, sweating and toiling in the
thick of the press, left me unguardedly to my own devices; and
suddenly I found myself quite alone in a closet hung with vestments,
where there was a fireplace with an open bricked hearth, having no
signs of usage, which immediately, from habit, caught my attention.
And straight, at last, God, pitiful to His poor little derelict,
touched the cross on my breast, and quickened inspiration in that
where I had supposed all was dead. I slid into the chimney, and went
up, up, like an eel in a well rising for air. The sounds of
destruction grew attenuated beneath me; I smelt life and freedom, and
swarmed faster in my agony to attain them. The chimney, clean as at
its building, let down no token of my passage by it, and in a few
moments I emerged from the summit, and, tumbling into the cleft of a
long double roof--found myself face to face with a man who was there
before me.
IV.
I FALL INTO THE HANDS OF A COLLECTOR
At least I call him a man; but O, my Alcide, he was a marionnette!
His joints creaked. All the bran in his body seemed to have been
shaken down into his calves. His hat supported itself on his ears and
the top of his coat collar. His sleeves were sacks. His nose was
nothing but a wen, and being no better adapted to the burden of some
enormous spectacles he wore, had led his fingers to an incessant trick
of adjusting those in their place. He carried under his arm an immense
folio, with which, as I appeared, he aimed an agitated blow at me,
only to miss and fall forward on his face on the roof.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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