The extraordinary confessions of Diana PleaseCapes, Bernard
General
The extraordinary confessions of Diana Please
Capes, Bernard
Femmes fatales -- Fiction; France -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Naples (Kingdom) -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
“She is grown,” he said. “She is become, it appears, a double cherry.”
“No,” said madam seriously, “the other is a second little foundling of
my care, and destined to God’s--_our_ God’s” (she added
coyly)--“service, de Crespigny.”
She had no sense of humour, the dear creature. The next moment,
noticing the direction of his gaze, with a little frown she bade us
begone to our books.
We fled, and, once remote, I turned, with a tragi-hysteric stamp, upon
my companion.
“Patience! And is that donkey _him_?”
“It is Mr. Noel de Crespigny,” she said, amazed. “He is not-- O,
Diana, do you really think him”--
“Hee-haw!” I broke in, with a little passion of laughter; and then
fury overcame me.
“How dared she,” I stormed, “how dared she tell him that lie about
me?”
“What lie?” said poor Patty.
“Why, to claim me to her worship of a golden ass,” I cried.
“It was a calf,” said my friend, bewildered.
I screamed with laughter.
“O, don’t!” Patty implored. “It really was, Diana.”
“You dear!” I gasped. “I daresay it was. But he was so badly made, I
couldn’t tell.”
She followed me upstairs, utterly bewildered. On the landing above we
encountered a strange sight. The picture--_the_ picture--was already
on its way down from the attics. A groom and maid bore it, and the
oddest creature stood above, superintending its resurrection.
“Gogo!” whispered Patty; “it’s Gogo!”
I could well believe it of such a monster.
He was a man, and a huge one, down to his mid-thighs; and there he
ended in a couple of wooden stumps. His face, lapped in a very mask of
red bristle, was as savage as sin; and he growled and rumbled like an
interdicted volcano.
“Ay,” he thundered, “I’m Gogo, the Dutch tumbler. Who calls me by my
name?”
Holding with one hand by the banisters, he struck with the strong
stick he carried at the stairs, missed the tread, and was within an
inch of falling. The stick rattled down, and he swung and clung with
both hands to the rail. In an instant, some whimsical impulse sent me
tripping lightly up to help him.
“Take my arm,” I said, “down to the landing.”
The giggling servants paused in their task to stare up; but the
monster himself laboured round, with quite a stunned look.
“To help--_me_,” he whispered hoarsely; “the little scented rush to
prop the oak!”
I was in love with his changed voice at once. It was something to meet
only two-thirds of a man.
“No, no,” he said, touching my arm as if it were a relic. “I’m Gogo,
the colour-grinder, the bottle-washer--not worthy to latch your
ladyship’s little shoe. I’ll go down--I’ll go down. Ho-ho! it’s easy.
I’ve done it all my life.”
While he spoke, the odd creature had descended unaided, and,
recovering his stick, struck his wooden limbs fiercely with it.
“Do you see?” he cried. “A stiff-kneed dog as ever limped after
Fortune!”
He flounced upon the servants, and roared them into care of their
charge; then turned again to me, where I stood with my friend, who had
run trembling to my shelter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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