Well may both judge and jury, in the outset of trial, be puzzled to decide between and do justice to men whose quarrels are made up of baseness and villainy, and carried on with mutual treachery, fraud, and violence, and whose witnesses are perhaps of the same character with themselves. Each party may justly enough accuse the other, though neither of them are worthy of belief, and deserve even no credit for the imputations with which they asperse each other’s characters. But such men need not hope long to deceive the world: a penetrating judge and an honest jury will, upon sifting the matter, clearly see what kind of men they have been occupying their attention with, and shew a proper disgust at the wicked impudence of both plaintiff and defendant. [Illustration] [Illustration] [Page 87] THE BALD KNIGHT. A certain Knight growing old, his hair fell off, and he became bald; to hide which imperfection he wore a periwig. But as he was riding out with some others a hunting, a sudden gust of wind blew off the periwig, and exposed his bald pate. The company could not forbear laughing at the accident; and he himself laughed as loud as any body, saying, how was it to be expected that I could keep strange hair upon my head, when my own would not stay there? APPLICATION. There is no disposition, or turn of mind, which on many occasions contributes more to keep us easy, than that which enables us to rally any of our failings, or joke upon our own infirmities: this blunts the edge, and baffles and turns aside the malignant sneers of little wits, and the ill nature and ridicule of others. If we should at any time happen to incur the laughter of those about us, we cannot stifle it sooner or better than by receiving it all with a cheerful look, and by an ingenuous and pleasant remark, parry the jest which another is ready to throw out at our expence. To appear fretted or nettled, only serves to gratify the wishes of those who take a secret pleasure in seeing such an effect produced; and, besides, a testy or captious temper is a source of perpetual disquietude, both to ourselves and our acquaintances, and like a little leaven, sours the whole mass of our good qualities. If we had no other imperfections, this of itself would be sufficient to cause our company to be shunned. [Illustration] [Illustration] [Page 89] THE LION AND THE FOUR BULLS.