KIDNAPPER. Very true, parson--very true--now I like your doctrine--a full belly is better than an empty sermon; preach that doctrine;--stick to that text, and you'll not fail of making converts. CHAPLAIN. The wisest of men said, there is nothing better, than that a man should enjoy that which he hath, namely, eat, drink, and be merry, if he can. KIDNAPPER. You're very right--Solomon was no fool, they say--[_He sings._] _Give me a charming lass, Twangdillo cries, I know no pleasure, but love's sweet joys._ CHAPLAIN. [_Sings._] _Give me the bottle, says the red face sot, For a whore I'd not give six-pence, not a groat._ Yet two is better than one, my Lord, for the scriptures further say, if one be alone, how can there be heat? You seem to be converted to that belief, for you have a brace of them, as the Boatswain says. KIDNAPPER. Ha, ha. It's a pity but you were a bishop, you have the scriptures so pat--now I'll go and take a short nap, meanwhile; Captain, if any thing new happens, pray order my servant to wake me. CAPTAIN SQUIRES. I will, my Lord. [_Exit KIDNAPPER._ CHAPLAIN. And you and I'll crack a bottle, Captain; (bring a bottle, boy!) 'tis bad enough to perish by famine, but ten thousand times worse to be chok'd for want of moisture. His Lordship and two more make three; and you and I and the bottle make three more, and a three-fold cord is not easily broken; so we're even with him. CAPTAIN SQUIRES. With all my heart.--Boy, bear a hand! TOM. Coming, sir. CHAPLAIN. Tom, Tom!--make haste, you scoundrel!--fetch two bottles. I think we can manage it. _Enter TOM with the bottles._ CHAPLAIN. That's right, Tom.--Now bring the glasses, and shut the door after you. [_Exit TOM._ SCENE VII. _In Boston. A council of war after the battle of Bunker's-Hill._ LORD BOSTON, ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE, ELBOW ROOM, MR. CAPER, GENERAL CLINTON, EARL PERCY. LORD BOSTON. I fully expected, with the help of the last reinforcement you brought me over, and the advice and assistance of three accomplish'd and experienc'd Generals, I should have been able to have subdued the rebels, and gain'd immortal laurels to myself--have return'd to Old England like a Roman Consul, with a score or two of the rebel Generals, Colonels and Majors, to have grac'd my triumph. ELBOW ROOM. You have been vastly disappointed, sir--you must not look for laurels (unless wild ones) nor expect triumphs (unless sham ones) from your own victories or conquests in America.