There are other cases in which marriage is right and childbearing may
be wrong. There are tendencies to disease, in which, although there
may be a long and useful life for the one bearing a family taint, it
may be socially wrong to risk carrying on that taint. If all who need
to know are agreed, and there is a chance of living many years of real
union together, no law should step in to prevent, and no inherited
view of the limitation of marriage to those seeking parental relation
should refuse assent to the union. There are many conceivable
limitations to parental functioning, even for those who are keenly
aware of the social significance of parenthood, which do not apply to
marriage of those truly mated in thought and purpose. It is, however,
the height of irrationality, and will more and more be seen to be
such, for men and women to enter a relation the natural result of
which, in the vast majority of cases, is the bearing of children, with
no idea on either side as to what is the ideal and the wish and the
purpose of the other party in the marriage union.
The question, again, for those who are agreed that they want to start
a family as well as begin a mating is definitely to be considered,
namely, that of the right time to begin the family they wish to have.
It may be, as many believe, that too hasty adding of the strenuous
discipline of parenthood to the often difficult task of adjustment of
two mature and forceful natures, such as marriage so often brings
together, is likely to give an unnecessarily hard start in the new
life. Two people who have just got used to themselves, perhaps, have
at marriage to get used to each other. It may be that they could
succeed better in this great task if they had not so often to adjust
themselves during the first year to the needs and masterful claims of
a baby. There is no form of tyranny equal to that of the infant, who,
assured of his right to unlimited service from all in sight, makes his
demands at all times and in all ways. He pays for his subjection of
parents and grandparents and they are all usually willing slaves. But
it is often a great advantage if the parents, at least, have had a
chance to make full acquaintance with each other's pet weaknesses and
each other's best qualities before "the baldheaded tyrant from No
Man's Land" makes his appearance. It is, therefore, clearly a matter
of frank and full discussion and settlement before marriage not only
as to the fundamental question of whether or not there shall be
children, but also if, as is the case in the overwhelming majority of
cases, the young people hope for offspring, when they shall begin to
call them to the home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account