on the left, on his way home to the little house in Holland Street.
Once more that house was home to him. He would cross its familiar
threshold to-day as master. Yet how differently to of old! How steep
the hill was! How languid and spent he became in ascending it--slowly,
deliberately, instead of with light-footed energy and indifference! And
this made him ask himself, what if these premonitions of finality, of
impending farewells, of compulsory relinquishment, had indeed a very
special and definite significance, being sent to him as heralds of the
approach of a common yet--to each individual being--unique and
altogether tremendous change? What if that haunting curiosity of the
unknown--concerning which he had spoken with Poppy St. John amid the
white magic of the moonlight during the enchanted hour of his and her
friendship--was to be satisfied very soon?
Iglesias drew himself up to his full height, fatigue and bodily
weakness alike forgotten, and stood for a little space at the turn into
Holland Street, hat in hand, facing the delicately chill wind and
looking away into the fine perspective of sky overspread by shoals and
islands of pale luminous cloud. Calmly--yet with the sharp amazement
inevitable when things taken for granted, tacitly and nominally
accepted throughout a lifetime, suddenly advance into the immediate
foreground, becoming actual, tangible, imperative--he asked himself,
was death so very near, then? At the church of the Carmelite Priory
just above--the high slated roofs and slender iron crockets of which
overtopped the parapets of the intervening houses--a bell tolled as the
officiating priest, in giving the Benediction, elevated the sacred
Host. And that note, at once austere and plaintive, striking across the
hoarse murmur and trample of the streets, was very grateful to Dominic
Iglesias. For it assured him of this, at least, that when for him the
supreme hour did indeed strike and he was called upon to go forth
alone--as every soul must go--to meet the impenetrable mystery which
veils the close of the earthly chapter, he would not go forth
unbefriended, but absolved, anointed, fortified, made ready--in so far
as readiness for so stupendous an ordeal is possible--by the rites of
Holy Church.
"_Fiat misericordia tua Domine super nos: quemad-modum speravimus te.
In te Domine speravi: non confundar in aeternum,_" he quoted half aloud.
And then could not forbear to smile, gravely and somewhat sadly,
registering the deep pathos of the fact that the majestic hymn of
praise and thanksgiving, dedicated by the use of Christendom throughout
centuries to the celebration of highest triumph, still ends brokenly
with a childlike sob of shrinking, of entreaty, and very human pain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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