Encouraged by the satisfactory nature of the above information, Mr.
Iglesias--shortly after his mother's death, now nearly eight years
ago--had become a member of Mrs. Porcher's household. He had never, so
far, had reason to regret that step. And it was with a consciousness of
well-being and repose that he returned daily--after hours of strenuous
work in the well-known city banking house of Messrs. Barking Brothers &
Barking--to this square first-floor sitting-room, to its dimly white
panelled and painted walls, its nice details of carved work in
chimney-piece and ceiling, and the outlook from its tall, narrow
windows. A touch of old-world stateliness in its aspect satisfied his
latent pride of race. To certain natures not obscurity or slender
means, but the pretentious vulgarity which, in English-speaking
countries, too often goes along with these constitutes the burden and
the offence.
To-night, however, things were different. Material objects remained the
same; but the conditions of existence had taken on a strange
appearance, and with that appearance Iglesias was bound to reckon,
being uncertain as yet whether it was destined to prove that of a
friend or of an enemy. In furtherance of such reckoning, he had
declined dining at the public table, in company with his hostess, Miss
Eliza Hart, her devoted friend and companion, and the three
gentlemen--Mr. de Courcy Smyth, Mr. Farge, and Mr. Worthington--who
shared with him the hospitalities of Cedar Lodge. He had dined here,
upstairs, solitary; and Frederick, the German-Swiss valet, had just
finished clearing the table and departed. Usually under such
circumstances Iglesias would have taken a favourite book from the
carved Spanish mahogany bookcase containing his small library; and,
reading again that which he had often read before, would have found
therein the satisfaction of friendship, along with the soothing
influences of familiarity. But to-night neither Gibbon's _Rome_--a
handsome early edition in many volumes--_The Travels of Anacharsis_,
Evelyn's _Diary_, Napier's _Peninsular War_, John Stuart Mill's
_Logic_, Byron's _Poems_, nor those of Calderon, nor of that so-called
"prodigy of nature," Lope de Vega, not even the dear and immortal _Don
Quixote_ himself, served to attract him. His own thoughts, his own
life, filled his whole horizon, leaving no space for the thoughts or
lives of others. He found himself a prey to a certain mental
incoherence, a bewildering activity of vision. More than once before in
the course of his laborious, monotonous, and, as men go, very virtuous
life had this same thing happened to him--the tides of the obvious and
accustomed suddenly receding and leaving him stranded, as on some
barren sand-bank, uncertain whether the ship of his individual fate
would lie there wind-swept and sun-bleached till rusty rivets fell out
and planks parted, disclosing the ribs of her in unsightly nakedness,
or whether the kindly tide, rising, would float her off into blue water
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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