Mr. Iglesias crossed Trimmer's Green in the dusty sunshine. He had
engaged to stay; and, indeed, he asked himself what person, what
objects or interests there were to take him else-whither? Nevertheless,
the promise seemed, somehow, a limiting of possibility and of hope. It
was destiny. London, very evidently, having got him, did not mean to
let him go. And London was not attractive this evening, but blouzy and
jaded from the heat. He passed on into the great thoroughfare and
turned eastward, absorbed in thought. Children cried. A pungent scent
of over-ripe fruit came from barrows in the roadway and open doors of
green-grocers' shops. Tempers appeared to be on edge. Workmen, pouring
out from a big block of flats under construction on the left, jostled
him in passing, not in insolence, but simply in inattention. Their
language was starred with sanguinary adjectives. The noise of the
traffic was loud. Iglesias turned up one of the side streets leading on
to Campden Hill. It was quieter here and the air was a trifle purer.
Halfway up the hill he hesitated. There was a shrine to be visited in
these regions--in it stood an altar of the dead. And above that altar,
in Iglesias' imagination, hung the picture of a woman, beautiful, and,
to him, infinitely sad.
He turned eastward again and made his way into Holland Street. He
rarely had the courage to go back there. He had never reentered the
house. But this evening he was taken by the desire to look on it all
once again. For he was still pursued by the disquieting question as to
whether he had shirked the possibilities of his life, or had sacrificed
them to a higher duty than any duty of personal development. If the
latter, however barren of active happiness both past and present, he
would be in his own eyes justified, and desolation would cease to have
in it any flavour of self-contempt. Perhaps this dwelling-place of his
childhood, youth, and what should have been the best of his manhood,
might help to answer the question and set his doubts at rest.
A board--"To Let"--was up on the narrow iron balcony of the
dining-room. Iglesias rang, and after brief parley with the
caretaker--a neat bald-headed little old man, in carpet slippers and a
well-brushed once-smart brown check suit, altogether too capacious for
his attenuated person--was admitted.
"The place is quite empty save for my bits of sticks in the basement,
sir," he said. "You are at liberty to go where you please. I am
afflicted with the asthma and am glad to avoid mounting the stairs." He
ended up with a husky little cough. So Iglesias passed through the
vacant house unattended.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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