And Dominic Iglesias found himself called upon to rally all his
humanity, all his faith in merciful dealing and the reward which goes
along with it. For it was hard to give, hard to befriend, so thankless
and ungracious a being. Yet, having put his hand to the plough, he
refused to look back. He had inherited a strain of fanaticism which
took the form of unswerving loyalty to his own word once given. So he
spoke gravely and kindly, as one speaks to the sick who are beyond the
obligation of showing courtesy for very suffering. And truly, as he
reminded himself, this man was grievously sick; not only physically
from insufficient food, but morally from disappointment and that most
fruitful source of disease, inordinate and unsatisfied vanity.
"I do not wish to get rid of you; I merely wish to take the shortest
and simplest way to relieve you of your more pressing anxieties, and so
enable you to give yourself unreservedly to your work. Want may be a
wholesome spur to effort at times; but it is difficult to suppose any
really sane and well-proportioned work of art can be produced without a
sense of security and of leisure."
"How do you come to know that? It is not your province," Smyth said
sharply.
Mr. Iglesias permitted himself to smile and raise his shoulders
slightly.
"I come of a race which, in the past, has given evidence of no small
literary and artistic ability. The experience of former generations
affects the thought of their descendants, I imagine, and illuminates
it, even when these are not gifted individually with any executive
talent."
For some minutes Smyth sat staring moodily in front of him. At last he
rose slowly from his chair.
"I am an ass," he said, "a jealous, suspicious, ungrateful ass. It is
more than ever hateful to me to ask a favour of you, just because you
are forbearing and generous. I wish to goodness I could do without you
help; but I can't. So let me have twenty-five pounds. Less would not be
of use to me. I should only have to draw on you again, and I do not
care to do that. Look here, can I have it in notes?"
"Yes," said Mr. Iglesias.
"I prefer it so. There might have been difficulties in cashing a
cheque. Moreover, it is unpleasant to me that your name, that any name,
should appear. It is only fair to save my self-respect as far as you
can."
Then, as Dominic put the notes into his hand, he added, and his voice
was aggressive again and quarrelsome in tone: "I don't apologise. I
don't explain. I do not even thank you. Why should I, since I simply
take it as a temporary accommodation until my play is finished--my
great play, which is going--I swear before God it is going--not only to
cancel this paltry debt, but a far more important one, the debt I owe
to my own genius, and justify me once and forever in the eyes of the
whole English-speaking world."
With that he shambled out of the room, letting the handle of the door
slip so that it banged noisily behind him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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