"Well, I do. I'd do anything for a person that I had seen cry; I would
really."
Felicia opened her large hazel eyes still wider. "What a strange idea!
It seems to me that you think too much about feelings and not enough
about principles."
"But thinking about feelings makes you think about principles; feelings
are the only things that ever make me think about principles at all."
After a few minutes' silence Elisabeth asked suddenly:
"What do you mean to do with your life when you leave here and take it
up?"
"I don't know. I suppose I shall fall in love and get married. Most
girls do. And I hope it will be with a clergyman, for I do so love
parish work."
"I don't think I want to get married," said Elisabeth slowly, "not even
to a clergyman."
"How queer of you! Why not?"
"Because I want to paint pictures and to become a great artist. I feel
there is such a lot in me that I want to say, and that I must say; and I
can only say it by means of pictures. It would be dreadful to die before
you had delivered the message that you had been sent into the world to
deliver, don't you think?"
"It would be more dreadful to die before you had found one man to whom
you would be everything, and who would be everything to you," replied
Felicia.
"Oh! I mean to fall in love, because everybody does, and I hate to be
behindhand with things; but I shall do it just as an experience, to make
me paint better pictures. I read in a book the other day that you must
fall in love before you can become a true artist; so I mean to do so.
But it won't be as important to me as my art," said Elisabeth, who was
as yet young enough to be extremely wise.
"Still, it must be lovely to know there is one person in the world to
whom you can tell all your thoughts, and who will understand them, and
be interested in them."
"It must be far lovelier to know that you have the power to tell all
your thoughts to the whole world, and that the world will understand
them and be interested in them," Elisabeth persisted.
"I don't think so. I should like to fall in love with a man who was so
much better than I, that I could lean on him and learn from him in
everything; and I should like to feel that whatever goodness or
cleverness there was in me was all owing to him, and that I was nothing
by myself, but everything with him."
"I shouldn't. I should like to feel that I was so good and clever that I
was helping the man to be better and cleverer even than he was before."
"I should like all my happiness and all my interest to centre in that
one particular man," said Felicia; "and to feel that he was a fairy
prince, and that I was a poor beggar-maid, who possessed nothing but his
love."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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