He was enduring perfect agony. The shiver of early morning came upon
him; his teeth chattered, and he was afraid of falling to the ground
and finding himself unable to rise again. He looked about, but could
see no vacant place on any bench. Had he found one he would have
dropped asleep there, even at the risk of being awakened by the police.
Then, as giddiness nearly blinded him, he leaned for support against a
tree, with his eyes closed and his ears ringing. The raw carrot, which
he had swallowed almost without chewing, was torturing his stomach, and
the glass of punch which he had drunk seemed to have intoxicated him.
He was indeed intoxicated with misery, weariness, and hunger. Again he
felt a burning fire in the pit of the stomach, to which he every now
and then carried his hands, as though he were trying to stop up a hole
through which all his life was oozing away. As he stood there he
fancied that the foot-pavement rocked beneath him; and thinking that he
might perhaps lessen his sufferings by walking, he went straight on
through the vegetables again. He lost himself among them. He went along
a narrow footway, turned down another, was forced to retrace his steps,
bungled in doing so, and once more found himself amidst piles of
greenery. Some heaps were so high that people seemed to be walking
between walls of bundles and bunches. Only their heads slightly
overtopped these ramparts, and passed along showing whitely or blackly
according to the colour of their hats or caps; whilst the huge swinging
baskets, carried aloft on a level with the greenery, looked like osier
boats floating on a stagnant, mossy lake.
Florent stumbled against a thousand obstacles—against porters taking up
their burdens, and saleswomen disputing in rough tones. He slipped over
the thick bed of waste leaves and stumps which covered the footway, and
was almost suffocated by the powerful odour of crushed verdure. At last
he halted in a sort of confused stupor, and surrendered to the pushing
of some and the insults of others; and then he became a mere waif, a
piece of wreckage tossed about on the surface of that surging sea.
He was fast losing all self-respect, and would willingly have begged.
The recollection of his foolish pride during the night exasperated him.
If he had accepted Madame Francois’s charity, if he had not felt such
idiotic fear of Claude, he would not now have been stranded there
groaning in the midst of these cabbages. And he was especially angry
with himself for not having questioned the artist when they were in the
Rue Pirouette. Now, alas! he was alone and deserted, liable to die in
the streets like a homeless dog.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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