The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
Paule vainly searched her mind for help. She felt the sadness of a
cemetery round her. What deaths and separations there had been-- Her
sister Thérèse dead at twelve; her father struck down in his vigor; her
sister Marguerite in a convent; Étienne and François in the Colonies.
She was left alone--and how very much alone--to help her mother to bear
this too heavy cross. But as she must do it, she would be brave and
uphold the poor tottering woman with all her strength.
She dried her eyes and bathed her face.
“Not now, not all at once,” she repeated, thinking of her mother. “She
must have time to warm herself, to rest. I will tell her to-night that
he is ill. She did not sleep at all last night, she must sleep at least
to-night. To-morrow her heart will be broken. Suffering is easier to
bear in the day-time than in the horrors of night, so like the grave. I
will not tell her to-night.” And she put her mother’s cup of bitterness
away from her. From the far country where he lay she seemed to hear her
big brother calling to her--his soul at peace--“Spare her this evening.
She has suffered so much already.”
She heard a footstep and hastened to hide, the telegram which had
brought with it death.
Marie entered the room.
“Madame is coming. I hear the wheels in the avenue.”
CHAPTER III
NIOBE
“Good evening, Mamma.” Paule called her Mamma when she wished to show
her child’s love the most.
Madame Guibert came in, stooping a little, wrapped in an old and
well-worn fur cloak. The lamp-shade prevented her noticing how pale her
daughter was as she kissed her. She came nearer to the fire.
“Oh, how good it is to be at home again! And how one loves these old
houses! Do you remember, Paule, how sad we were when we thought we
should have to leave Le Maupas?” She warmed her wrinkled hands at the
flames. Paule came up behind her and took off her bonnet.
“Keep your cloak on, Mother dear, for a few minutes. You were very
cold, weren’t you?”
Madame Guibert turned to look at her daughter. She smiled at her, and
the smile under her grey hair, on a face whose cheeks were still young,
whose blue eyes were trusting and clear, was as sweet as the last roses
of the year, which still bloom under the snow.
“Dear child, to look at you warms me more than do these logs that you
have put on the fire for me.”
The girl knelt down to take the kettle off the fire.
“You are going to have some boiling hot grog.”
As she got up, her mother had time to notice in the light how pale she
was.
“But you are the one who should be looked after, Paule. You are quite
white. You are ill, and you never told me.”
The old lady got up at once.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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