The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
“I arrived late last night,” he explained. “And I have come to you this
morning. I was so anxious to see you again.”
“You are good to us. I knew you would come at once. We have been
looking for you for some days.”
Paule came in and clasped Jean’s hand. Her lovely black hair made her
pale skin seem paler. Her dark eyes had lost their fire. Straighter
and still prouder than she used to be, she cherished her broken heart
in no humility. Full as he was of his sad story, Jean had time to read
with surprise in the serious young face and in the stiff attitude of
the body a lack of interest in life. Paule, also surprised, noticed the
change in the young man. With the passage of time he had grown more
sure, more resolute, more like Marcel.
In the little country drawing-room, through whose closed venetians a
ray of sunlight filtered, the hero who died for his country rose up
from the African soil where he had lain to come back to his own people,
recalled to life by the words of the narrator. He came back young,
tall, thin, and muscular, his head borne high, his tone imperious,
gifted with that physical superiority, that aptitude for command, that
self-imposed calmness which are the outward signs of a leader of men.
Jean looked at his photograph placed on the closed piano and crowned
with a wreath of roses. He spoke of him as Marcel would have wished to
be spoken of--simply and nobly. He had that rare gift of choosing the
right word, which paints the truth with no undue softening, with no
undue emphasis. His voice, though sweet and caressing in its sympathy
with pain, still revealed the strength of the man beneath. It banished
all weakness and despair. It encouraged and comforted and even found
a solace in death. The two women, who wept on his arrival, kept their
tears under control as they listened to him.
He had not actually seen his friend fall. The day was beginning to dawn
when, suddenly awakened by hearing the shots fired, he got up to summon
his men. In spite of information received as to the safe condition of
affairs, the little troop at Timmimun always slept completely dressed.
As Berlier hastened to the point of danger, the Commander was attacking
the Berabers, who had already gained a footing in the camp.
“The sergeant who was at his side told me about his death. I was
directing our defence on the left. He attacked them in front. Having
routed them, he went in pursuit. He stood out a black silhouette
against the first brightness of the dawn. The sergeant pointed out a
little sandridge. There perhaps they were still hiding. As he stepped
forward he put his hand to his head, stood still for an instant, and
fell in a heap.”
Madame Guibert hid her face in her hands and the tears gushed to
Paule’s eyes, hard as she tried to master herself.
“He did not stir,” continued the Captain. “He did not suffer. Death
struck him full in the forehead. And he was thinking of his country,
and of you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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