The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
“Yes,” she answered gravely. “Before binding oneself with eternal vows
one must be sure of oneself. And I have confidence in you.”
“I see Marcel’s courage and his pride once more in Paule,” said Jean.
“I shall bless my fate if it has reserved her affection for me.”
“It is God whom you must bless, Jean. Our strength comes from Him only.
Yes, Paule is a darling child. Although I am her mother, I may say
that with pride. I shall give her to you joyfully. Have I not always
considered you as my son? And were you not like a brother to Marcel?”
“Oh, Madame Guibert, your words are so sweet to me. But she? ...”
“Don’t be afraid about her, Jean. She will accept you, I think. But you
must ask her yourself. You have reflected well, have you not, about
your future home? We are not rich, as you know. My son Étienne and I
are willing to give to Paule, if she will be your wife, the rents of
the Maupas estate. It does not bring in much since the vineyards were
separated from it. We cannot do more.”
She was giving up everything and made excuses for doing no more.
“I do not wish it, Madame,” said Jean.
“Let me finish what I have to say. I am anxious to retire. I need very
little to live on. Étienne, being able to do it, gives me an allowance
which, in spite of all I can say, he will not make smaller. You must
think of your future prospects, Jean.”
“Oh, Madame Guibert, what treasure can be compared to Paule’s heart?
But do not think I should ever consent to accept your more than
generous offer. I have already thought about our material future.
Étienne needs help in Tonkin. In all his letters he keeps asking for a
partner to develop the enterprises which are too great for him alone.
Well, I have offered him my help. Out in Algiers I used to interest
myself in everything concerning the soil. I will go to Tonkin. I wrote
to him last month.”
“And you will take your wife out there?”
At this moment Jean’s attention was turned to the steps, where Paule
had just appeared, so he did not see two tears gush from Madame
Guibert’s eyes. When he looked at her she was already prepared for the
new sacrifice which life asked of her, and it was in a firm voice that
she said:
“May God bless your plans! Here is my girl, Jean. She has known
loneliness and sorrow too long. She needs happiness. How happy she will
be with your love! She will feel her youth, which she had forgotten.
Jean, you may tell her that you love her.”
Then she added in lower tones--for Paule was coming nearer--and he did
not hear her words:
“I give you my last, my dearest child.”
Tall and erect, Paule came across the courtyard and joined them under
the shadow of the chestnuts. Her black dress made her look a little
formal as she greeted the young man. He had risen and gone to meet her.
A slight flush heightened her color, while her dark eyes lighted up.
She kissed her mother:
“I have just come from the farm. We shall have the butter and eggs
to-morrow.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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