The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
Madame Guibert gazed at them both with motherly eyes. She rose from the
basket-chair where she had been sitting.
“I am going in to see about dinner. You will excuse me, Jean. How
lovely it is this evening. You have not been out all day, Paule. You
should have a walk together before the sun sets. Go as far as the
Montcharvin wood and come back. Come back soon, my children!”
She could not resist calling them her children. She watched them go
down the chestnut avenue side by side with rapid steps.
“How tall she is!” she said to herself. “He is only half a head taller
than she. And he is very tall. A fine couple!”
They disappeared behind the trees. Slowly and with a heavy heart the
old lady went in to her house, and as she prepared herself for this
last sacrifice she repeated to herself:
“My darling little Paule, and I have lost her! May you be happy. You
have deserved it for your dear care of me. Be happy--it is all I ask of
God.”
Above the Vimines road, a path cut off by a screen of poplars from
Forezan’s steep slopes skirts the fields and leads to Montcharvin farm.
Paule and Jean followed it, the girl walking in front.
“Let us go as far as the ash-wood,” she said. “We shall be able to see
the sunset reflected on the mountains through the trees.”
He stopped. “No, let us stay here, will you not?” And he pointed to the
old felled tree-trunk which served as a bench. She had never sat there
since her last walk with Marcel. Thinking of this, she hesitated. She
had no idea what Jean had to say to her. Little accustomed to thinking
of her own affairs and resigned to her destiny as a penniless girl, she
never gave love or marriage a thought. She believed she had stifled
forever the feelings which had once caused her so much suffering, and
kept jealous watch over the heart for which no one asked. She consented
to sit down. For a moment they were silent, side by side.
The sun had disappeared behind the nearby mountains. Round them they
were conscious of the peace of evening falling over the land, like a
holy presence. At their feet the ripe cornfields waved gently. Further
away the trees in the wood gathered their leaves together and sought
calm repose. On the horizon the cliffs of Mount Revard, still touched
by the sunlight, shone with bright pinks and violets. The happy omen in
this peace of nature increased Jean’s emotion. He looked at the girl
beside him and was happy at the thought of what he was about to say to
her.
She remembered with painful clearness the words which Marcel had spoken
to her on this same tree-trunk on the evening before he left for Africa.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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