The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
“Paule, she is setting us a splendid example of heroism and
self-sacrifice. May we never forget it! And if later on, in many years
to come, we have occasion to imitate her may her memory still be
present with us. Oh, may the child who is coming to us be like her!”
Paule was listening to him more calmly, and he added: “May God protect
both our child and her whom we have left behind with a broken heart!”
“Yes, I will pray,” she said. “It was God who gave my mother the
resignation that she tried to implant in me.”
In her young life, she had known many hours of anguish and mourning;
but she had never known a more painful one than this. She thought she
tasted the bitterness of death, yet in reality her life was stirring to
its inmost depths. Her love was purified, all unknown to her, in that
divine flame of maternal sacrifice of which she was more and more to
appreciate the value.
As the railway passed in front of the oak wood which is neighbor to Le
Maupas, Jean and Paule looked at the familiar landscape through the
window. The tree-branches bore snowflakes for leaves, their whiteness
tinted by the setting sun. On the vine-row hung a lacework of frost.
Here it was, and here alone, that Paule had learned to know life,
death, and love. She thought of the proud, passionate, young girl,
whose boast was the care with which she watched over her mother.
“Kiss me,” she cried to her husband. “I have so much need of love to be
able to go away from here!”
Jean took her in his arms. And the kiss they gave each other spread a
sacred thrill through their veins; for to that union of their body and
soul they added the filial devotion of the past and that mysterious
hope for the future which made their lives so much fuller and gave an
immortal meaning to their love.
CHAPTER XI
PEACE
Madame Guibert rose with difficulty from the bench on which she had
seated herself to weep. She saw a few strangers passing hurriedly and
wished to hide her sorrow.
“I cannot stay here any longer,” she thought When she stood up she had
to hold on to the wall and she wondered if she would have the strength
to reach the house.
She felt her age and her weakness hanging like heavy weights on her
shoulders. She remembered the day when she dragged herself through the
endless chestnut avenue at La Chênaie. On the threshold of the station
she thought anxiously of the long road home. But accustomed as she was
to spend nothing on herself she did not dream of hiring one of the cabs
in the Square.
She set out slowly, leaning on the umbrella which served her as a stick
and putting her feet down carefully so as not to slip on the snow.
The hardships of her journey made her forget her sorrow, but when she
stopped a moment she whispered gently the name of Paule--of Paule who
would never, never be her help again. Her mind was following the two
dear ones who were carrying away with them all her happiness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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