A source of injustice, in the case of polygamy, is the influence of the
head-wife; for every man who has several wives recognizes one of them as
the favourite, and head over the others. Not that she sits in idleness
while the others work; for it is more likely that she is the favourite
because she works well and cooks well. But she has every opportunity to
tyrannize over the other wives and make their lives a bitter bondage. If
they desire anything from the husband there is but little chance of
obtaining it unless the head-wife favours the request. In a dispute
between two of them the husband’s judgment would depend upon the
head-wife. She exercises authority over all his children, even the
children of other wives.
Yet, not to leave an exaggerated impression, it must be said that there
is much less quarrelling than one would expect between wives of the same
husband. The African wife also has far more independence in actual life
than their theories allow. She owns the garden, and her husband is
dependent upon her for his food. If she runs away she leaves him much
the poorer; at least there is always a risk that he will not recover
either her or the dowry. And, then, he is mortally afraid of her tongue,
her chief resource; and well he may be; for in an outburst of passion it
is the tongue of a fiend, and scorches like hell fire. Frequent storms
of unrestrained passion give to the face of the woman of middle age a
permanent expression of weakness and dissipation. She is the victim of
so much oppression and cruel wrong that one would like to depict her as
innocent; for it is human nature to attribute virtue to those who
suffer. But it most be confessed that the African woman is at least as
degraded as the man. He is more cruel; but she is more licentious.
It is exceedingly difficult to learn the attitude of the African woman
towards polygamy. Still, I believe it is contrary to her natural
instinct. I have known instances of heathen women cursing Christian
husbands because they would not marry other wives, and it happens—though
infrequently—that women leave their husbands for this reason. But in all
such cases I believe that the woman acts upon the impulse of some lower
motive and at the expense of her better self. In civilized lands are
there not those who marry for wealth or social position, even without
love? In Africa, wealth and social position are represented by a
plurality of wives. The wife of a monogamist is a “nobody,” and,
besides, has an unusual amount of work to do. But I believe that the
majority of women in Africa have in them enough of the true woman to
hate polygamy. Their fables and folk-lore are full of this hatred.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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