It may justly be demanded of the essayist that he shall give some small
thought to the question of corporal punishment by means of the “cat,”
and “ground-ash.” We have given the subject the most elaborate
attention; we have written page after page upon it. Day and night we
have toiled and perspired over that distressing problem. Through
Summer’s sun and Winter’s snow, with all unfaltering purpose, we have
strung miles of ink upon acres of paper, weaving wisdom into eloquence
with the tireless industry of a silkworm fashioning his cocoon. We have
refused food, scorned sleep, and endured thirst to see our work grow
beneath our cunning hand. The more we wrote the wiser we became; the
opinions of one day were rejected the next; the blind surmising of
yesterday ripened into the full knowledge of to-day, and this matured
into the superhuman omniscience of this evening. We have finally got so
infernally clever that we have abandoned the original design of our
great work, and determined to make it a compendium of everything that
is accurately known up to date, and the bearing of this upon flogging
in general.
To other, and inferior, writers it is most fortunate that our design
has taken so wide a scope. These can go on with their perennial wrangle
over the petty question of penal and educational flagellation, while we
grapple with the higher problem, and unfold the broader philosophy of
an universal walloping.
Reflections upon the Beneficent Influence of the Press
_Reflection 1._—The beneficent influence of the Press is most talked
about by the Press.
_Reflection 2._—If the Press were less evenly divided upon all social,
political, and moral questions the influence of its beneficence would
be greater than it is.
_Reflection 3._—The beneficence of its influence would be more marked.
_Reflection 4._—If the Press were more wise and righteous than it is,
it might escape the reproach of being more foolish and wicked than it
should be.
_Reflection 5._—The foregoing Reflection is _not_ an identical
proposition.
_Reflection 6._—(_a_) The beneficent influence of the Press cannot be
purchased for money. (_b_) It can if you have enough money.
Charity
Charity is certain to bring its reward—if judiciously bestowed. The
Anglo-Saxons are the most charitable race in the world—and the most
judicious. The right hand should never know of the charity that the
left hand giveth. There is, however, no objection to putting it in the
papers. Charity is usually represented with a babe in her arms—going to
place it benevolently upon a rich man’s doorstep.
The Study of Human Nature
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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