The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses from Men

Name: The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses from Men
Author: Various

Various

English literature -- 18th century; Erotic literature, English

By this some Lewder Harlot is Carrest,
        Who plays the Tyrant in his Am'rous Breast;
        The Charming Syren touches e'ery String,
        To keep his busie Fancy on the Wing;
        All by her whiles, she binds her Captive fast,
        Sooths him at first, and bubbles him at last.
        To feed her Pride, clandestine means he'll take,
        Rob Friends, or Master; for the Harlot's sake,
        Still to the greatest Ill's he do's descend,
        And Ruin only; Ruin Seals his End.


                 _The Third Pleasure of a Town Life._

        What Nature has not done, a Harlot will,
        (For sure Destruction is her boasted Skill:
        One Scarce to the full Bloom of Life attain'd,
        Before of Cramps and Aches he complains,
        Curses the Jilt--looks pale and wan withal:
        Wither'd like Fruit by their untimely fall,
        Go's thro' a hated Course of nauseous Pills,
        And spends a little thousand Pocky Bills:
        Perhaps at length he do's get free from pain,
        But the Effects on't all his Life remain.


                 _The Fourth Pleasure of a Town Life._

        Another hardly does escape so well,
        From Purgatory he drops into Hell;
        Where like a branded Sacrifice he comes,
        And in the Flame the Harlot lit, consumes:
        Of Buboes, Nodes, and Ulcers he complains,
        Of Restless Days, and damn'd nocturnal Pains.
        Nor less than into six Weeks Flux he goes:
        Comes out a Shadow, pale and Meagre shews,
        If Heaven spare that Ornament his Nose:
        Thus all his Youthful Vigor's threwn away,
        And e're his time he dwindles to decay.


                  _The Fifth Comfort of a Town Life._

        This married, settled in the Joys of Life,
        A handsom Trade, and an endearing Wife;
        Does yet a mind incontinent betray,
        And for a Night of Pleasure dearly pay:
        Having received a Favour from his Miss,
        He kindly gives it to a Friend of his:
        The Wife, (for that the Marriage Rites say still)
        Must bear a part both of the Good or Ill.
        She finds what pity 'tis she e'er had known,
        Since for no Crime, nor Pleasure of her own,
        Reveals it to him, knowing not at first,
        What might the Cause be--tho' she fear'd the worst.
        He strives to pacifie her twenty ways
        Blushes--or wou'd do if he'd any Grace.
        Tells Her the truth in Penetential strain,
        And vows he'll never do the like again,
        She weeps, forgives him all--but must endure,
        The manner, and the Charges of a Cure;
        Where One in twenty scarce so perfect be,
        But that they leave it to Posterity.


                  _The Sixth Comfort of a Town Life._

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses from Men

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