The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses from MenVarious
General
The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses from Men
Various
English literature -- 18th century; Erotic literature, English
This has some Jilt for a long time sustain'd,
Who has Imperious o'er his Pocket reign'd;
At length grown weary of so loose a Life,
Or for some other Cause, he takes a wife:
The Jilt now like a Fury flings and tears,
Ten thousand Oaths to be reveng'd she swears:
Threatens to come before his very Door,
For Whores are plagues that never give you o'er:
_There in the open Street to act the Scene,
And let the World know what a Spark he's been:
This; may be some fair promises prevents,
If constantly attended with the pence;
For Whores and Fidlers this one Rule advance,
Of old; no longer Pipe, no longer Dance.
But if the Promis'd Pension he withdraws,
The Fury then again Exerts her Claws:
Thus he a charge, continual intails,
Besides the Curse, the Noise, and all things else;_
The Tenth Pleasure of a Town Life,
_Another Harlot works by various means,
And acts a Jilt's true part behind the Scenes,
[*?]nds the kind Bubble of a pliant Size,
And Spreads a subtle Net to catch her Prize,
With greater ease to drive him in the same,
She first obtains his Residence, and Name,
Two useful Perquisites for her design;
The Shallow Easie Fop to undermine;
A Mesiage next she sends to let him know,
Convey'd by some such useful Rogue as R----w;
That she's with Child--and by the Love she bore,
It must be him--for she was never so before.
Which he with wonderful Surprize receives,
And for the present some few Guineas gives,
Thus he's impos'd on by a wretched Cheat,
And er'e he finds it out; pays dearly for his Wit._
The Eleventh Pleasure of a Town Life.
_Nor this alone Debauch'ry comprehends,
The forward Age to other vice descends,
And Youth e're he'as attain'd good Sence to think,
Addicts himself with Pride, to swear and drink:
[*?]'s Rules Immoral from Example take,
And e're he's turn'd of fifteen, turns a Rake:
[*?]ots in Sin--(nothing that's Lewd shall scape
And on his Virgin Health commits a Rape,
Forsaking Reason--grows to Vice a Slave,
And e'r he's Thirty drops into his Grave._
The Twelfth Plague of a Town Life,
_Another has a better Progress made,
And binds himself Apprentice to the Trade;
A parboyl'd Sot, without one Spark of Grace,
Whose nightly Sins are number'd on his Face:
Which with the Rags upon his back make out,
The very Arms and Ensigns of a Sot:
Who like a Rat into Some Corner goes,
And dies Unpittied both by Friends and Foes._
The Thirteenth Pleasure of a Town Life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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