The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses from MenVarious
General
The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses from Men
Various
English literature -- 18th century; Erotic literature, English
She thus goes on and spends his Wealth so fast,
That he begins to think of what is past.
Takes notice of her Visits out of Town,
And wonders where she's Coach'd so up and down,
Enquires of _John_ (who now seems Jealous too)
And asks him what he thinks his Wife will do.
The Servant's vext, but dares not yet disclose,
Not half the Truth of what he really knows.
Yet being willing something to impart,
Declares he's very sorry at his Heart.
To think how much she daily spends in Waste,
And adds, he doubts, she is not over Chaste.
But shak'd his Head, as if 'twas spoke in jest.
And left his Master to find out the rest.
_The Fourteenth Comfort._
The Matter having wisely took the hint,
Begins to fear there may be something in't.
But still unwilling, to expose her shame,
He is resolved to tell her of the same.
Next Night he took occasion thus to say,
_My Dear, pray tell me, where you've been to Day_.
I hope (says she) you'll not be Jealous now,
D'ye think I'll damn my self to break my Vow?
I'd have you know I scorn the thing you fear,
Of such foul Deeds my Conscience now is clear.
But this I tell you for your further ease,
Where I have been, I'll go when e'er I please.
Do you think I'll be kept in like a Drone,
While others reap the Pleasures of the Town.
No Faith, I'll never yield to such hard Fate.
To be confin'd; is what I always hate.
The Honest Husband hearing what she said.
He stood amaz'd, but yet no Answer made.
He plainly saw his Ruin coming on,
His own Disgrace, and all his Money gone.
He now believes what he wou'd not before, }
His Pious Wife is still a Brimstone Whore, }
Who made him Cuckold, and confounded Poor. }
_The Fifteenth Comfort._
Thus wanton Wives are Plagues beyond compare,
The Devil's Nets, poor Mankind to ensnare.
His Traps to catch a Heedless Sinner in,
His Instruments to tempt a Saint to Sin.
His curst Decoys to bring Destruction on,
And make a Man despair when all is gone.
His Factors here on Earth, to Trade in Vice,
His Catch-poles to betray us in a trice.
His Vermine to consume our very Food;
His Leeches to suck out our Precious Blood.
His Wolves in Sheeps Apparrel to us sent,
To Rob and Spoil us of our true content.
His Toads to Poison Soul and Bodies too.
And send to Hell more than's the Devil's due.
_FINIS._
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony:
Responses from Men, by Various
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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