Nothing had passed, across their distance, but the mute apprehension
of each on the part of each; the whole expanse, at the church hour, was
void of other life (he had scarce met a creature on his way from end
to end), and the sun-seasoned gusts kept brushing the air and all the
larger prospect clean. It was through this beautiful lucidity that
he watched her watch him, as it were--watch him for what he would do.
Neither moved at this high tension; Kate Cookham, her face fixed on
him, only waited with a stiff appearance of leaving him, not for dignity
but--to an effect of even deeper perversity--for kindness, free to
choose. It yet somehow affected him at present, this attitude, as a gage
of her _knowing too_--knowing, that is, that he wasn’t really free, that
this was the thinnest of vain parades, the poorest of hollow heroics,
that his need, his solitude, his suffered wrong, his exhausted rancour,
his foredoomed submission to any shown interest, all hung together too
heavy on him to let the weak wings of his pride do more than vaguely
tremble. They couldn’t, they didn’t carry him a single beat further
away; according to which he stood rooted, neither retreating nor
advancing, but presently correcting his own share of the bleak exchange
by looking off at the sea. Deeply conscious of the awkwardness this
posture gave him, he yet clung to it as the last shred of his honour,
to the clear argument that it was one thing for him to have felt beneath
all others, the previous days, that she was to be counted on, but quite
a different for her to have felt that _he_ was. His checked approach,
arriving thus at no term, could in these odd conditions have established
that he wasn’t only if Kate Cookham had, as either of them might have
said, taken it so--if she had given up the game at last by rising, by
walking away and adding to the distance between them, and he had then
definitely let her vanish into space. It became a fact that when she did
finally rise--though after how long our record scarce takes on itself to
say--it was not to confirm their separation but to put an end to it; and
this by slowly approaching him till she had come within earshot He had
wondered, once aware of it in spite of his averted face, what she would
say and on what note, as it were, she would break their week’s
silence; so that he had to recognise anew, her voice reaching him, that
remarkable quality in her which again and again came up for him as her
art.
“There are twelve hundred and sixty pounds, to be definite, but I have
it all down for you--and you’ve only to draw.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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