David read the letter straight through without any change of expression.
When he came to the end he folded the sheets neatly, put them back in
the envelope, and locked the envelope away in a drawer. Then his face
changed suddenly. First, a great rush of colour came into it, and then
every feature altered under an access of blind and ungovernable anger.
He pushed back his chair and sprang up, but the impetus which had
carried him to his feet appeared to receive some extraordinary check.
His movement had been a very violent one, but all at once it passed into
rigidity. He stood with every muscle tense, and made neither sound nor
movement. Slowly the colour died out of his face. Then he took a step
backwards and dropped again into the chair. His eyes were fixed upon the
strip of carpet which lay between him and the writing-table. A small,
twisted scrap of paper was lying there. David Blake looked hard at the
paper, but he did not see it. What he saw was another torn and twisted
thing.
A man’s professional honour is a very delicate thing. David had never
held his lightly. If he had violated it, he had done so because there
were great things in the balance. Mary’s happiness, Mary’s future,
Mary’s life. He had betrayed a trust because Mary asked it of him and
because there was so much in the balance. And it had all been illusion.
There had been no risk—no danger. Nothing but an old man’s last and
cruelest jest. And he, David, had been the old man’s dupe. A furious
anger surged in him. For nothing, it was all for nothing. He had
wrenched himself for nothing, forfeited his self-respect for nothing,
sold his honour for nothing. Mary had bidden him, and he had done her
bidding, and it was all for nothing. A little bleak sunlight came in at
the window and showed the worn patches upon the carpet. David could
remember that old brown carpet for as long as he could remember
anything. It had been in his father’s consulting room. The writing-table
had been there too. The room was full of memories of William Blake. Old
familiar words and looks came back to David as he sat there. He
remembered many little things, and, as he remembered, he despised
himself very bitterly. As the moments passed, so his self-contempt grew,
until it became unbearable. He rose, pushing his chair so that it fell
over with a crash, and went into the dining-room.
Half an hour later Sarah put her head round the corner of the door and
announced, “Mr. Edward Mottisfont in the consulting room, sir.” David
Blake was sitting at the round table with a decanter in front of him. He
got up with a short laugh and went to Edward.
Edward presented a ruffled but resigned appearance. He was agitated, but
beneath the agitation there was plainly evident a trace of melancholy
triumph.
“I’ve had a letter,” he began. David stood facing him.
“So have I,” he said.
Edward’s wave of the hand dismissed as irrelevant all letters except his
own. “But mine—mine was from my uncle,” he exclaimed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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