“Lizabeth, you used not to be beautiful, but you are beautiful now,” she
said suddenly.
“Am I?”
“Yes, I always loved your face, but it wasn’t really beautiful. Now I
think it is.”
“Anything else?” Elizabeth laughed a little.
“Yes, the patient look has gone. You used to look so patient that it
_hurt_. As if you were carrying a heavy load and just knew you had got
to carry it without making any fuss.”
“Issachar, in fact——”
“No, not then, but I’m not so sure now. I _think_ there _are_ two
burdens now.”
Elizabeth laid her hand on Agneta’s lips.
“Agneta, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Stop thought-reading this
very minute. I never gave you leave.”
“Sorry.” Agneta kissed the hand against her lips and laid it back in
Elizabeth’s lap. “Oh, Lizabeth, _why_ didn’t you marry Louis?” she said,
and Elizabeth saw that her eyes were full of tears. The firelight danced
on a brilliant, falling drop.
“Because I love David,” said Elizabeth. “And love is worth while,
Agneta. It is very well worth while. You knew it was when you thought
that Douglas was dead. Would you have gone back to a year ago?”
“Ah, Lizabeth, don’t,” said Agneta.
She leaned her head against Elizabeth’s knee and was still.
All that week, Elizabeth slept little and thought much. And her thought
was prayer. She did not kneel when she prayed, and she had her own idea
of what prayer should be. Not petition. The Kingdom of Heaven is about
us. We have but to open our eyes and take what is our own. Therefore not
petition. What Elizabeth called prayer was far more like taking
something out of the darkness, to look at it in the light. And before
the light, all things evil, all things that were not good and not of
God, vanished and were not. If thine eye be single, thy whole body shall
be full of light. In this manner, David’s sleeplessness had been changed
to rest and healing, and in this same manner, Elizabeth now knew that
she must test the strange dream-state in which David loved her. And in
her heart of hearts she did not think that it would stand the test. She
believed that, subjected to this form of prayer, the dream would vanish
and she be left alone.
She faced the probability, and facing it, she prayed for light, for
wisdom, for the Reality that annihilates the shadows of man’s thought.
When she used words at all, they were the words of St. Patrick’s prayer:
I bind to myself to-day,
The Power of God to protect me,
The Might of God to uphold me,
The Wisdom of God to guide me,
The Light of God to shine upon me,
The Love of God to encompass me.
During these days Agneta looked at her anxiously, but she asked no
questions at all, and Elizabeth loved her for it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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