"To what better use could I devote it, Shiela?"
"Oh, you don't know!--you don't know!--You are free; there are other
women, other hopes--try to understand what freedom means!"
"It means--_you,_, Shiela."
She fell silent; then:
"Wherever I turn, whatever I say--all paths and words lead back again to
you and me. I should not have come."
The hard, hammering pulse in his throat made it difficult for him to
speak; but he managed to force an unsteady laugh; "Shiela, there is only
one way for me, now--to fire and fall back. I've got to go up to
Portlaw's camp anyhow--"
"And after that?"
"Mrs. Ascott wants a miniature Versailles. I'll show you the rough
sketches--"
"And after that?"
"I've one or two promises--"
"And afterward?"
"Nothing."
"You will never--see me--again. Is that what 'nothing' means?"
They walked on in silence. The path had now become palely illumined; the
sound of the surf was very near. Another step or two and they stood on
the forest's edge.
A spectral ocean stretched away under the stars; ghostly rollers
thundered along the sands. North and south dunes glimmered; and the hot
fragrance of sweet-bay mingled with the mounting savour of the sea.
She looked at the sea, the stars, blindly, lips apart, teeth closed, her
arm still resting on his.
"Nothing," she repeated under her breath; "that was the best answer....
Don't touch my hand!... I was mad to come here.... How close and hot it
is! What is that new odour--so fresh and sweet--"
"China-berry in bloom--"
"Is it?"
"I'm not sure; once I thought it was--you; the fragrance of your hair
and breath--Calypso."
"When did you think that?"
"Our first night together."
She said: "I think this is our last."
He stood for a while, motionless; slowly raised his head and looked
straight into her eyes; took her in his arms; holding her loosely.
White of cheek and lip, rigid, her eyes met his in breathless suspense.
Fear widened them; her hands tightened on his wrists behind her.
"Will you love me?"
"No!" she gasped.
"Is there no chance?"
"No!"
Her heart was running riot; every pulse in rebellion. A cloud possessed
her senses, through which her eyes fought desperately for sight.
"Give me a memory--to carry through the years," he said unsteadily.
"No."
"Not one?"
"No!"
"To help us endure?"
Suddenly she turned in his arms, covering her eyes with both hands.
"Take--what--you wish--" she panted.
He touched one slim rigid finger after another, but they clung fast to
the pallid face. Time and space reeled through silence. Then slowly,
lids still sealed with desperate white hands, her head sank backward.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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