And, as she said nothing, he resumed: "During the few minutes we have
been accidentally thrown together, I have not seen a quiver of human
humour in you. _There_ is the self-consciousness--the absorbed
preoccupation with appearances."
"What is there humourous in the situation?" she demanded, very pink.
"Good Lord! What is there humourous in any situation if you don't make
it so?"
"I am not a humourist," she said.
She sat in the bows, one closed hand propping her chin; and sometimes
her clear eyes, harboring lightning, wandered toward him, sometimes
toward the shore.
"Suppose you continue to row," she said at last. "I'm doing you the
honour of thinking about what you've said."
He resumed the oars, still sitting facing her, and pushed the boat
slowly forward; and, as they continued their progress in silence, her
brooding glance wavered, at intervals, between him and the coast.
"Haven't you _any_ normal human curiosity concerning me?" he asked so
boyishly that, for a second, again from her eyes, two gay little demons
seemed to peer out and laugh at him.
But her lips were expressionless, and she only said: "I have no
curiosity. Is that criminally abnormal?"
"Yes; if it is true. Is it?"
"I suppose it is too unflattering a truth for you to believe." She
checked herself, looked up at him, hesitated. "It is _not_ absolutely
true. It was at first. I am normally interested now. If you knew more
about me you would very easily understand my lack of interest in people
I pass; the habit of not permitting myself to be interested--the
necessity of it. The art of indifference is far more easily acquired
than the art of forgetting."
"But surely," he said, "it can cost you no effort to forget me."
"No, of course not." She looked at him, unsmiling: "It was the acquired
habit of indifference in me which you mistook for--I think you mistook
it for stupidity. Many do. Did you?"
But the guilty amusement on his face answered her; she watched him
silently for a while.
"You are quite right in one way," she said; "an unconventional encounter
like this has no significance--not enough to dignify it with any effort
toward indifference. But until I began to reprove man in the abstract, I
really had not very much interest in you as an individual."
And, as he said nothing: "I might better have been in the beginning what
you call 'human'--found the situation mildly amusing--and it
_is_--though you don't know it! But"--she hesitated--"the acquired
instinct operated automatically. I wish I had been more--human; I can
be." She raised her eyes; and in them glimmered her first smile, faint,
yet so charming a revelation that the surprise of it held him
motionless at his oars.
"Have I paid the tribute you claim?" she asked. "If I have, may I not go
overboard at my convenience?"
He did not answer. She laid both arms along the gunwales once more,
balancing herself to rise.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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