THE FISHDOLLAR AFFAIR BY R. M. McKENNA _With more courage than prudence, the ensign followed his star to the final (and delectably feminine) test of a young officer's honor.... A tender, ironic and funny story, by a new name you'll be seeing again._ [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Worlds of If Science Fiction, October 1958. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] Subspace cruising never bored Ensign Stephen Welnicki. The ship's computer rotated skew-quadro fields, inscrutably altering by threes the twenty-seven positional variables--leaving the watch officer idle. Thoughts were to be had for the thinking. Thoughts came unbidden to watch officer Welnicki. What if the never-found alien intelligence, feared so absurdly in official policy, was _subspatial_? Weird things, eating mathematics, fighting with music. They'd attack ... Captain Kravitz and the others nerve-frozen somehow ... command of Galactic Patrol Ship _Carlyle_ devolving upon Ensign Welnicki ... triumph ... muster at Prime Reference ... medal of honor.... [Illustration: A. D. 2170: _Thoughts came unbidden to watch officer Welnicki._] His pale blue eyes gleamed and his short blond hair bristled even more at the thought. His quartermaster broke in. "That emigrant ship is a minute late calling in, sir. Shall I buzz it?" "No. We are senior. I will reprimand her at five after." That ship in synchro with _Carlyle_ was S.S. _Rubberjack_, carrying twelve hundred colonists and equipment to found a settlement on a yet nameless planet of Kappa-9 Carinae. From some democratic planet in Vela sector, to be settled athwart an autocratic trend coming down from Columba. Ensign Welnicki, aged twenty-four, was already helping make galactic history. G.P.S. _Carlyle_ would stand by until the settlement was viable. Adventure ... a flyer forced down among nameless mountains ... hardships ... mineral deposits ... tremendous cliffs and chasms ... forever after, on the maps, the Welnicki Mountains.... "Five past, sir." "Very well." Ensign Welnicki brought his slight form erect and strode across to the subspace voder, hardening his lips. Forestalling him, the light blinked on and the neutral machine-voice said, "... _Carlyle_. S.S. _Rubberjack_ calling G.P.S. _Carlyle_...." The ensign pressed his transmitter bar and snapped, "_Carlyle_ here. Go ahead, _Rubberjack_." Too bad there was no visual transmission in subspace, to carry his hawklike stare to that sloppy merchant officer. Too bad his crisp voice would be wasted in the neutrality of _Rubberjack's_ voder. "This is Wendrew Fishdollar, President of the Republic of Fishdollar Five," the voder said. "Our forces now control S.S. _Rubberjack_. We wish to negotiate a standard treaty with the Galactic Patrol."