The Fitz-Boodle PapersThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Fitz-Boodle Papers
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Imaginary letters; Satire, English
Waltzing is a part of a German girl's life. With the best will in the
world--which, I doubt not, she entertains for me, for I never put the
matter of marriage directly to her--Dorothea could not go to balls and
not waltz. It was madness to me to see her whirling round the room
with officers, attaches, prim little chamberlains with gold keys and
embroidered coats, her hair floating in the wind, her hand reposing upon
the abominable little dancer's epaulet, her good-humored face lighted up
with still greater satisfaction. I saw that I must learn to waltz too,
and took my measures accordingly.
The leader of the ballet at the Kalbsbraten theatre in my time was
Springbock, from Vienna. He had been a regular zephyr once, 'twas said,
in his younger days; and though he is now fifteen stone weight, I can,
helas! recommend him conscientiously as a master; and I determined to
take some lessons from him in the art which I had neglected so foolishly
in early life.
It may be said, without vanity, that I was an apt pupil, and in the
course of half a dozen lessons I had arrived at very considerable
agility in the waltzing line, and could twirl round the room with him
at such a pace as made the old gentleman pant again, and hardly left him
breath enough to puff out a compliment to his pupil. I may say, that in
a single week I became an expert waltzer; but as I wished, when I came
out publicly in that character, to be quite sure of myself, and as I had
hitherto practised not with a lady, but with a very fat old man, it was
agreed that he should bring a lady of his acquaintance to perfect me,
and accordingly, at my eighth lesson, Madame Springbock herself came to
the dancing-room, and the old zephyr performed on the violin.
If any man ventures the least sneer with regard to this lady, or dares
to insinuate anything disrespectful to her or myself, I say at once that
he is an impudent calumniator. Madame Springbock is old enough to be my
grandmother, and as ugly a woman as I ever saw; but, though old, she was
passionnee pour la danse, and not having (on account, doubtless, of her
age and unprepossessing appearance) many opportunities of indulging in
her favorite pastime, made up for lost time by immense activity
whenever she could get a partner. In vain, at the end of the hour, would
Springbock exclaim, “Amalia, my soul's blessing, the time is up!” “Play
on, dear Alphonso!” would the old lady exclaim, whisking me round: and
though I had not the least pleasure in such a homely partner, yet for
the sake of perfecting myself I waltzed and waltzed with her, until we
were both half dead with fatigue.
At the end of three weeks I could waltz as well as any man in Germany.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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