The Fitz-Boodle PapersThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Fitz-Boodle Papers
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Imaginary letters; Satire, English
Yes, the nobles come peoplewards as the people, on the other hand, rise
and mingle with the nobles. With the plebs, of course, Fitz-Boodle, in
whose veins flows the blood of a thousand kings, can have nothing to do;
but, watching the progress of the world, 'tis impossible to deny that
the good old days of our race are passed away. We want money still as
much as ever we did; but we cannot go down from our castles with horse
and sword and waylay fat merchants--no, no, confounded new policemen
and the assize-courts prevent that. Younger brothers cannot be pages
to noble houses, as of old they were, serving gentle dames without
disgrace, handing my lord's rose-water to wash, or holding his stirrup
as he mounted for the chase. A page, forsooth! A pretty figure would
George Fitz-Boodle or any other man of fashion cut, in a jacket covered
with sugar-loafed buttons, and handing in penny-post notes on a silver
tray. The plebs have robbed us of THAT trade among others: nor, I
confess, do I much grudge them their trouvaille. Neither can we collect
together a few scores of free lances, like honest Hugh Calverly in the
Black Prince's time, or brave Harry Butler of Wallenstein's dragoons,
and serve this or that prince, Peter the Cruel or Henry of Trastamare,
Gustavus or the Emperor, at our leisure; or, in default of service,
fight and rob on our own gallant account, as the good gentlemen of old
did. Alas! no. In South America or Texas, perhaps, a man might have a
chance that way; but in the ancient world no man can fight except in the
king's service (and a mighty bad service that is too), and the lowest
European sovereign, were it Baldomero Espartero himself, would think
nothing of seizing the best-born condottiere that ever drew sword, and
shooting him down like the vulgarest deserter.
What, then, is to be done? We must discover fresh fields of
enterprise--of peaceable and commercial enterprise in a peaceful and
commercial age. I say, then, that the auctioneer's pulpit has never yet
been ascended by a scion of the aristocracy, and am prepared to prove
that they might scale it, and do so with dignity and profit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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