The Fitz-Boodle PapersThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Fitz-Boodle Papers
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Imaginary letters; Satire, English
Now the character I have formed to myself of a great auctioneer is this.
I fancy him a man of first-rate and irreproachable birth and fashion. I
fancy his person so agreeable that it must be a pleasure for ladies to
behold and tailors to dress it. As a private man he must move in the
very best society, which will flock round his pulpit when he mounts
it in his public calling. It will be a privilege for vulgar people to
attend the hall where he lectures; and they will consider it an honor to
be allowed to pay their money for articles the value of which is stamped
by his high recommendation. Nor can such a person be a mere fribble; nor
can any loose hanger-on of fashion imagine he may assume the character.
The gentleman auctioneer must be an artist above all, adoring his
profession; and adoring it, what must he not know? He must have a good
knowledge of the history and language of all nations; not the knowledge
of the mere critical scholar, but of the lively and elegant man of
the world. He will not commit the gross blunders of pronunciation that
untravelled Englishmen perpetrate; he will not degrade his subject by
coarse eulogy or sicken his audience with vulgar banter. He will know
where to apply praise and wit properly; he will have the tact only
acquired in good society, and know where a joke is in place, and how far
a compliment may go. He will not outrageously and indiscriminately laud
all objects committed to his charge, for he knows the value of praise;
that diamonds, could we have them by the bushel, would be used as coals;
that above all, he has a character of sincerity to support; that he
is not merely the advocate of the person who employs him, but that the
public is his client too, who honors him and confides in him. Ask him
to sell a copy of Raffaelle for an original; a trumpery modern Brussels
counterfeit for real old Mechlin; some common French forged crockery for
the old delightful, delicate, Dresden china; and he will quit you with
scorn, or order his servant to show you the door of his study.
Study, by the way,--no, “study” is a vulgar word; every word is vulgar
which a man uses to give the world an exaggerated notion of himself or
his condition. When the wretched bagman, brought up to give evidence
before Judge Coltman, was asked what his trade was, and replied that “he
represented the house of Dobson and Hobson,” he showed himself to be
a vulgar, mean-souled wretch, and was most properly reprimanded by his
lordship. To be a bagman is to be humble, but not of necessity vulgar.
Pomposity is vulgar, to ape a higher rank than your own is vulgar, for
an ensign of militia to call himself captain is vulgar, or for a bagman
to style himself the “representative” of Dobson and Hobson. The honest
auctioneer, then, will not call his room his study; but his “private
room,” or his office, or whatever may be the phrase commonly used among
auctioneers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account