India -- History -- 1000-1526 -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Reincarnation -- Fiction
How, through three long years, he managed so to occupy his mind as to
keep at bay the madness that besets the absolutely solitary, he himself
knew best. Probably the first months seemed longest. The hours were
dismissed, one by one, while he busied himself over little things; for,
at his age, he was not able to create a systematic pursuit. His mind
worked in unaccustomed spheres, conning, vaguely and indefinitely,
problems that put him at a more or less safe distance from himself.
In time, the atmosphere of the deep banyan shade, with the near
tinkling and flashing of the brook, and the dim, greenish sunlight
that slipped through the interwoven foliage, became so beautifully
familiar that it was home to him. He bathed and floated in the chilly
water, and afterwards kindled a sacrificial fire and sat before it on
his knees, delighting in the high-leaping flames, feeling that the
play of the two elements satisfied his bent of mind. And during this
time, by unconscious cerebration, what Oman had learned in his five
years of studentship, all that mass of inert, half-decayed knowledge,
concentrated into living truths that fixed themselves firmly in his
brain and lay waiting to be used. Something further still came out of
the solitude:—a self-dependence, a strength, and a fortitude without
which, at a later period, he could not have lived.
Thus, until his sixteenth year, Oman spent his days. Then a change came
upon him, and he felt this life unendurable. Insensibly, a scene from
one of the old, heroic epics that he had read in his student days, came
to him, fastened itself in his mind, and would not be dislodged. It was
the picture of the “Sinner’s Road”, described with ghastly vividness by
a long-dead writer:
“A burning forest shut the roadside in
On either hand; and mid its crackling boughs
Perched ghastly birds—or flapped among the flames—
Vultures and kites and crows, with brazen plumes
And beaks of iron; and these grisly fowl
Screamed to the shrieks of Prets, lean, famished ghosts,
Featureless, eyeless, having pin-point mouths
That hungered, but were never full.”
Here, in the land where these dim spirits dwelt, Oman, in perilous
despair, beheld himself. He must die as he had lived, and live in death
as he had lived in life—miserable, desolate, desperate, without hope of
betterment. And then, as the days scourged him, he was finally driven
to take a stand, for sanity’s sake. Thus, one noontide, he girded
himself up and returned to Bul-Ruknu, and there, within his father’s
house, sought an interview with Gokarna.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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