India -- History -- 1000-1526 -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Reincarnation -- Fiction
“O my lord—O beloved of my heart—thou Krishna—whither thou goest permit
that I go also! If thou art to appear before thy great god, suffer me
to remain at thy side. Spurn me not for that I am a woman. Did I not
vow to thee long since that, since thou wast my true husband, I, thy
faithful one, would not suffer thee to die alone, but, performing the
suttee with mine own hand, would accompany thy spirit to its blest
abode? And I swear now by the faithfulness of Radha, and by Lakshmi and
Devi and the divine Ushas, that, if thou goest forth alone into the
presence of the gods, I will surely follow thee. Wherefore, thou, who
hast loved me well, grant me a last boon. Let me go forth and die with
thee, that we may be judged together, and, if thou lovest me still,
together endure our punishment.”
“Consider thy words, Ahalya. Just now thou’rt not thyself. Return to
the palace and dwell there quietly, and let peace come into thy heart.
I absolve thee from that old vow of love. There is no one that could
suspect thee of this murder. I have done it; and this my absence will
proclaim. Bhavani knows nothing. He is now with Churi, and thou canst
tell the child what thou wilt. Return, then, to the house of the Rajah,
and forget—and forgive—my sins.”
“Nay! Nay, nay, nay!” It was the first time that either of their voices
had been raised. “I will not be absolved from my oath! I will not be
left alone to face the terrors of Kutashala Máli! Take me with thee,
else, by mine own hand, I die alone. Oh consider the sweetness of death
together! Consider the terror of death alone!”
“Again—I plead with thee!”
“No, no. If thou diest, I also will die.”
“But thou knowest, Ahalya, that I cannot live. Thou knowest that
to wait will mean either execution by torture for the murder of a
Brahman-Kshatriya, or a long and agonizing death through my curse. And
I, coward-like, perhaps, choose here a swifter and more merciful end.
Yet, if thou wilt, I will return with thee to the palace and wait there
for what may come.”
For an instant Ahalya considered. Then she answered: “Nay, beloved, I
will not have thee return to the palace. Only take me with thee that I
may not die alone.”
“And if I took thee with me? How should we die?”
“What was it that thou wouldst have done, going up alone?”
“I have here the dagger that slew Ragunáth.”
Ahalya shuddered. “Not that! Listen. Thou knowest that by my people
there are certain waters held sacred to the gods, so that those that
die in them are cleansed of many sins. Such a stream is the broad
Narmáda, which to us is the little Gunga, the promised sacred flood.
Let us, then, under cover of night, go down to the river and there, in
the same moment, die together—thou in my arms, I in thine.”
Fidá reflected. “How shall we reach the river?” he asked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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