“Were you very frightened,” he then asked, “when you found you had lost
your way, and darkness was coming?”
“I was frightened, or I would not have gone to the lady. But I wish I had
staid on the moor for you to find me. I knew you would soon be out
looking for me. Until she came I comforted myself with thinking that
perhaps even then you were on the moor, and I might see you any moment.”
“What else did you think of?”
“I thought that God was out on the moor, and if you were not there, he
would keep me company.”
“Ah!” said my uncle, as if thinking to himself; “she but needs him the
more when I am with her!”
“Yes, of course!” I answered; “I need him then for you as well as for
myself.”
“That is very true, my child!--Shall I tell you one thing I thought of
while looking for you?”
“Please, uncle.”
“I thought how Jesus' father and mother must have felt when they were
looking for him.”
“And they needn't have been so unhappy if they had thought who he
was--need they?”
“Certainly not. And I needn't have been so unhappy if I had thought who
you were. But I was terribly frightened, and there I was wrong.”
“Who am I, uncle?”
“Another little one of the same father as he.”
“Why were you frightened, uncle?”
“I was afraid of your being frightened.”
“I hardly had time to be frightened before the lady came.”
“Yes; you see I needn't have been so unhappy!”
My uncle always treated me as if I could understand him perfectly. This
came, I see now, from the essential childlikeness of his nature, and from
no educational theory.
“Sometimes,” he went on, “I look all around me to see if Jesus is out
anywhere, but I have never seen him yet!”
“We shall see him one day, shan't we?” I said, craning round to look into
his eyes, which were my earthly paradise. Nor are they a whit less dear
to me, nay, they are dearer, that he has been in God's somewhere, that
is, the heavenly paradise, for many a year.
“I think so,” he answered, with a sigh that seemed to swell like a
sea-wave against me, as I sat on his arm; “--I hope so. I live but for
that--and for one thing more.”
There are some, I fancy, who would blame him for not being sure, and
bring text after text to prove that he ought to have been sure. But oh
those text-people! They look to me, not like the clay-sparrows that Jesus
made fly, but like bird-skins in a glass-case, stuffed with texts. The
doubt of a man like my uncle must be a far better thing than their
assurance!
“Would you have been frightened if you had met him on the moor last
night, little one?” he asked, after a pause.
“Oh, no, uncle!” I returned. “I should have thought it was you till I
came nearer, and then I should have known who it was! He wouldn't like a
big girl like me to be frightened at him--would he?”
“Indeed not!'” answered my uncle fervently; but again his words brought
with them a great sigh, and he said no more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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