Ancient poets were not less backward than modern votaries of the muses; and it is related of the poet Philoxenus that he was frequently heard to express the wish that he had a neck as long as a crane’s, that he might the longer have the pleasure of swallowing wine, and of enjoying its delicious taste. I have heard the same wish expressed, during much more recent years. One more old song, translated from a French _chanson à boire_, and I take my leave of the awful habits of the ancients (I trust) for ever. It is called THE TIPPLING PHILOSOPHERS. Diogenes, surly and proud, Who snarl’d at the Macedon youth, Delighted in wine that was good, Because in good wine there is truth; But growing as poor as a Job, Unable to purchase a flask, He chose for his mansion a tub, And lived by the scent of the cask. [Neither the air, nor the chorus, of this song is given in the old MS. But I would suggest the old air of “Wednesbury Cocking,” with a little “tol-de-rol” at the finish of each verse.] Heraclitus ne’er could deny To tipple and cherish his heart, And when he was maudlin he’d cry, Because he had empty’d his quart; Tho’ some are so foolish to think He wept at men’s folly and vice, ’Twas only his fashion to drink Till the liquor flow’d out of his eyes. {21} Democritus always was glad Of a bumper to cheer up his soul, And would laugh like a man that was mad When over a good flowing bowl. As long as his cellar was stor’d, The liquor he’d merrily quaff, And when he was drunk as a lord At those who were sober he’d laugh. Aristotle, the master of arts, Had been but a dunce without wine, And what we ascribe to his parts Is due to the juice of the vine. His belly most writers agree Was as big as a watering trough, He therefore leap’d into the sea, Because he’d have liquor enough. Old Plato, the learned divine, He fondly to wisdom was prone, But had it not been for good wine, His merits had never been known; By wine we are generous made, It furnishes fancy with wings, Without it we ne’er should have had Philosophers, poets, or kings. {22} CHAPTER III DRINKS ANCIENT AND MODERN The Whitaker of the period — France without wine — Babylonian boozers — Beer discovered by the Egyptians — A glass of bitter for Cleopatra — Brainless Persians — German sots — Turning the tables — Intemperance in the North — Chinese intoxicants — Nature of Sack — Mead and morat — Vinous metheglin — Favourite tipple of the Ancient Britons — Braggonet — Birch-wine — “The invariable” of Falstaff — A recipe by Sir Walter Raleigh — Saragossa wine — Usquebaugh — Clary — Apricock wine.