STRANGE SWALLOWS “Wormwood!”—The little green fairy — All right when you know it, but⸺ — The hour of absinthe — Awful effects — Marie Corelli — St. John the Divine — Arrack and bhang not to be encouraged — Plain water — The original intoxicant — Sacred beverage of the mild Hindu — Chi Chi — Kafta, an Arabian delight — Friends as whisky agents — Effervescent Glenlivet — The peat-reek — American bar-keeper and his best customer — “Like swallerin’ a circ’lar saw and pullin’ it up again” — Castor-oil anecdote — “Haste to the wedding!” . . . 115–125 CHAPTER XII “THE BOY” Definition of the youth — The valley of the Marne — An Archbishop in sparkling company — All is not cham. that fizzes — Beneficial effects of Pommery — Dire memories of the Haymarket — The bad boy at York — A hair of the canine — The good boy — Gout defied — Old Roman cellars — A chronic bombardment — Magnums to right of ’em — Duties of the disgorger — Simon the cellarer — Fifteen millions of full bottles — Pro-dig-i-ous! — Gooseberry champagne a myth — About Médoc — The ancients spelt claret with two “r’s” — Hints on adulteration — “Château Gubbins” — New wine — Gladstone claret — “Pricked!” . . . Pages 126–136 CHAPTER XIII THE OLD WINES AND THE NEW Decline and fall of port — Old topers — A youthful wine-bibber — The whisky age succeeds the port age — “Jeropiga” — Landladies’ port — A monopoly — Port _v._ gout — A quaint breakfast in Reading — About nightcaps — Sherry an absolutely pure wine — Except when made within the four miles’ radius — Treading the grapes — “Yeso” — Pliny pops up again — “Lime in the sack” — What the _Lancet_ says — “Old Sherry” — _Faux pas_ of a General — About vintages . . . 137–148 CHAPTER XIV THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT The Long Drink — Cremorne Gardens — Hatfield — Assorted cocktails — Brandy-and-Soda — Otherwise Stone Fence — Bull’s milk — A burglar’s brew — More cocktails — A “swizzle” — L’Amour Poussée — A corpse reviver — A golden slipper — A heap of comfort . . . 149–161 CHAPTER XV STILL HARPING ON THE DRINK Sangaree — Slings — John Collins — Smashes — Sour beverages — Home Ruler — Burning brandy — A prairie oyster — A turkey ditto — About negus, for white-frock and black-mitten parties — Egg nogg — A doctor — A surgeon-major — A new locomotive — Rumfustian — Pope — Bull’s milk — A bosom caresser — The Colleen Bawn — Possets — Sir Fleetwood Fletcher . . . Pages 162–173 CHAPTER XVI “APPLE SASS”