Bildungsromans; Families -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New England -- Fiction
“I think, Bernice, it must be because they’ve missed the meaning of true
culture entirely. They have a blind pride groping for higher things.
That’s fine and commendable. But they don’t stop to reason why that
culture should be, what lies at the bottom of it, I mean. Speaking for
myself, I’ve reasoned it that real culture has its base and foundation
in an inherent appreciation of the Beautiful. And unless one has an
inherent taste and appreciation of the Beautiful, dear, and builds all
things upon that, they’re merely apes and imitators. They’re ludicrously
copying the behavior and tastes of those who have. People who do the
most worrying about their culture, as you phrase it, are not worrying
about their own sense of the beautiful and appropriate. They’re worrying
because they may not be aping correctly some one who has the
fundamentals and is letting culture take care of itself. Having no
fundamentals of their own, the imitators, I mean, merely a superficial,
competitive pride, they fret their lives away. They make themselves and
all those around them miserable—acting a part instead of living a part.”
“Well,” continued Bernie, “mother crammed royalty and culture down my
throat so long and hard that when I got outside I just had to explode. I
guess you’re right, Madge; I never had it reasoned out for me why I
should do this or that. Mother’s battle-cry was, ‘It simply isn’t done
by the Best People!’ I got so heartily sick of those Best People—whoever
they were—that I wanted to shriek. This thing wasn’t nice and that thing
wasn’t proper. The Best People never did exactly the things I hungered
to do. And everything was ‘shocking! shocking!’ Life wasn’t like that. I
saw it soon enough. And repressing all my curiosity and impulse to get
my share of fun out of it grew more and more unbearable. I remember once
I went on a picnic. I wandered off in the woods with one of the little
hicks of our town. I wanted to be just as bad as I knew how. But all my
poor little pate could conceive was kissing him and letting him kiss me
as much as I pleased—and taking off shoes and stockings and paddling in
a brook. I felt I was getting back at mother. Though why I should get
back at her, or what I hoped to gain by it, I never stopped to think.
Mother never told me anything about myself. She never sat down and
reasoned with me. She never tried to make me understand what my impulses
meant or why I possessed them. It seemed as if everything natural and
normal was just shocking, shocking——”
“And hasn’t the reason for intuitive decency and normality ever occurred
to you, dear?”
“I never stop to reason things out. I’m not like you, Madge! I go more
by my feelings.”
Madelaine toyed thoughtfully with a tiny gold watch chain encircling her
neck.
“Sometimes, dear,” she observed, “when I think how narrow and
short-sighted and unfair some parents seem to be, I wonder the race is
as clean and decent as it is.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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