Scratch (aside) My master, Mr. Worthy, who is waiting for me at the nearby inn, has sent me on before to sound the terrain. (seeing Albert) There, I take it, is our man. I must dissemble. Albert What are you doing here, by yourself and before my door? Scratch Good day, sir. Albert (sourly) Good day. Scratch I--are you well? Albert (grumpily) Yes. Scratch Truly, that rejoices my heart. Albert Rejoice or not rejoice--what brings you here? And who are you? Scratch I would find it hard to say. I have so many jobs that I might call myself a universal man. I have wandered the universe; the world is my country. From lack of income, I lived by industry--as many others do. According to the circumstances, sometimes an honest man, sometimes a confidence man. I served unwillingly in the Navy--and realizing my heart inclined to rapine after having spent eighteen months privateering. I carried a musket in Flanders and Germany; I was wounded in the wars with France. Albert There are some fine jobs. (aside) From tip to toe, this fellow seems to me to have the air of a rogue. (aloud) What are you doing here? Speak! Scratch I will retire. Albert (holding him) No, no, you must speak. Scratch (aside) I don't know what to say to him. Albert You seem to me to have the air of one of those rogues who prowl around to rob houses at night. Scratch You don't know me, sir. I have other things on my mind. While Fortune prevents me from having wealth, it has given me marvelous secrets for curing ills. I amuse myself by seeking medicinal herbs around here. Albert (surprised) Medicinal herbs? Scratch Yes, sir. All my life, I've made a profession of chemistry. As sure as you see me, there are no diseases I cannot cure--stone, coughs, vertigo, hysteria, heart disease, cancer. I've even been accused of using magic. The only thing I lack is a degree to make me the happiest physician living. Albert Your clothes are not those of a physician. Scratch Clothes don't make the science. And if I were not reduced to be a valet, and if I had not had a fight with the squire of my parish-- (mysteriously) But, one day you will see innocence triumph. Albert You say you have--? Scratch See the slander! One day, finding myself on a long journey, traveling third class, and twilight falling--I saw a certain coach stuck in the mud in a ditch, and a man in need of help. So I approached. And, to ease the weight which oppressed him (the coach was on top of him), I removed the packages he was carrying. The chief of police got mixed up in it, and held me responsible for the lost packages--for an act of charity! That's why my friends advised me to leave the country. Albert Always prudent, in cases like that. Scratch I went to the wars, where I accomplished miracles. The Ardennes saw me withstand enemy fire. And, battling one day against the enemy, one day all by myself--at Milan--I almost paid with my life. Do you know, sir, I was in Cremona?