"When I first met you that night my heart went out to you," he was
saying. "It overflowed in thankfulness to God that He had delivered you
out of the power of the Dog, and in His inscrutable mercy had condoned
that part of my sin as a father and had set you in high places."
With the fringe of his brain Paul recognized, for the first time, how
he brought into ordinary talk the habits of speech acquired in
addressing a Free Zionist congregation.
"It was only the self-restraint," Silas continued, "taught me by bitter
years of agony and a message from God that it was part of my punishment
not to acknowledge you as my son--"
"And what I told you, and what Jane told you about him," said Barney
Bill. "Remember that, Silas."
"I remember it--it was these influences that kept me silent. But we
were drawn together, Paul." He bent forward in his chair. "You liked
me. In spite of all our differences of caste and creed--you liked me."
"Yes, I was drawn to you," said Paul, and a strange, unknown note in
his voice caused Jane to glance at him swiftly. "You seemed to be a man
of many sorrows and deep enthusiasms--and I admit I was in close
sympathy with you." He paused, not moving from his rigid attitude, and
then went on: "What you have told me of your sufferings--and I know,
with awful knowledge, the woman who was my mother--has made me
sympathize with you all the more. But to express that sympathy in any
way you must give me time. I said you had played hell with my life.
It's true. One of these days I may be able to explain. Not now. There's
no time. We're caught up in the wheels of an inexorable political
machine. I address my party in the constituency to-night." It was a
cold intelligence that spoke, and once more Jane flashed a
half-frightened glance at him. "What I shall say to them, in view of
all this, I don't quite know. I must have half an hour to think."
"I know I oughtn't to interfere, Paul," said Jane, "but you mustn't
blame Mr. Finn too much. Although he differs from you in politics and
so on, he loves you and is proud of you--as we all are--and looks
forward to your great career--I know it only too well. And now he has
this deep conviction that he has a call from on High to ruin your
career at the very beginning. Do understand, Paul, that he feels
himself in a very terrible position."
"I do," said Mr. Finn. "God knows that if it weren't for His command, I
should myself withdraw."
"I appreciate your position, perfectly," replied Paul, "but that
doesn't relieve me of my responsibilities."
Silas Finn rose and locked the fingers of both hands together and stood
before Paul, with appealing eyes. "My son, after what I have said, you
are not going to stand against me?"
Paul rose too. A sudden craze of passion swept him. "My country has
been my country for thirty years. You have been my father for five
minutes. I stand by my country."
Silas Finn turned away and waved a haphazard hand. "And I must stand by
my God."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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