The Fortunes of Oliver HornSmith, Francis Hopkinson
General
The Fortunes of Oliver Horn
Smith, Francis Hopkinson
Baltimore (Md.) -- Fiction; Bildungsromans; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Painters -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
In the midst of this uproar of brass, strings, sheep-skin, wash-bowls,
broken coal, pokers and tongs, a lean figure in curl-papers and
slippers, bright red calico wrapper reaching to the floor, and a
lighted candle in one hand, forced its way through the crowd at the
door and stood out in the glare of the gaslights facing McFudd.
It was Miss Ann Teetum!
Instantly a silence fell upon the room.
"Gentlemen, this is outrageous!" she cried in a voice that ripped
through the air like a saw. "I have put up with these disgraceful
performances as long as I am going to. Not one of you shall stay in my
house another night. Out you go in the morning, every one of you, bag
and baggage!"
McFudd attempted to make an apology. Oliver stepped forward, the color
mounting to his cheeks, and Waller began a protest at the unwarrantable
intrusion, but the infuriated little woman waved them all aside and
turning abruptly marched back through the door and down the staircase,
preceded by the other female boarders. The little hunchback alone
remained. He was doubled up in a knot, wiping the tears from his eyes,
his breath gone from excessive laughter.
The Skylarkers looked at each other in blank astonishment. One of the
long-cherished traditions of the house was the inviolability of this
attic. Its rooms were let with an especial privilege guaranteeing its
privacy, with free license to make all the noise possible, provided the
racket was confined to that one floor. So careful had been its
occupants to observe this rule, that noisy as they all were when once
on the top floor, every man unlocked the front door at night with the
touch of a burglar and crept upstairs as noiselessly as a footpad.
"I'm sorry, men," said McFudd, looking into the astounded faces about
him. "I'm the last man, as ye know, to hurt anybody's feelings. But
what the divil's got into the old lady? Who'd 'a' thought she would
have heard a word of it down where she sleeps in the basement?"
"'Tis the Van Tassell," grunted the Walrus. "She's so mesmerized the
old woman lately that she don't know her own mind."
"What makes you think she put her up to it, Waller?" asked Cranch.
"I don't think--but it's just like her," answered Waller, with
illogical prejudice.
"My eye! wasn't she a beauty!" laughed Fred, and he picked up a bit of
charcoal and began an outline of the wrapper and slippers on the
side-wall.
Tomlins, Cranch, and the others had no suggestions to offer. Their
minds were too much occupied in wondering what was going to become of
them in the morning.
The German band by this time had regained their usual solidity. The
leader seemed immensely relieved. He had evidently expected the next
apparition to be a bluecoat with a pair of handcuffs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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