There are those in whom self-love and self-esteem is at a lower
pressure than with the average man, just as there are those in
whom it is at a much higher pressure. Such people, when fatigued
or when subject to the hostile or even non-friendly opinion of
others, become so-called self-conscious, i. e., are afflicted
with fear and a feeling of inferiority. This may deepen into
self-contempt and self-hatred. Part of what is called confidence
in oneself is self-esteem, and under fatigue, illness, after
punishment of a physical or mental nature, it is apt to
disappear. Very distressing is this in those who have been
accustomed to courage and self-confidence, perhaps whose
occupation makes these qualities necessary. Soldiers, after
gassing or cerebral concussion, men completely without
introspection, fearless and gay with assurance, become
apprehensive, self-analytical and without the least faith in
themselves, so that they approach their work in fear. So with men
who work in high places or where there is risk, such as
steeplejacks, bridge builders, iron workers, engineers; let an
accident happen to them, or let there occur an exhausting disease
with its aftermath of neurasthenia, and the self-esteem and
self-confidence disappear so that in many cases they have to give
up their job.
Because self-disgust and hatred are so painful, compensatory
"mechanisms" have been set up. There is in many people a tendency
to project outward the blame for those acts or thoughts which
they dislike. In the pathological field we get those delusions of
influence that are so common. Thus a patient will attribute his
obscene thoughts and words to a hypnotic effect of some person or
group of persons and saves his own face by the delusion. In
lesser pathological measure, men have fiercely preached against
the snares and wiles of women, refusing to recognize that the
turmoil of unwelcome desire into which they were thrown was
internal in the greater part of its origin and that the woman
often knew little or not at all of the effect she helped produce.
One of the outstanding features in the history of the race has
been this transfer of blame from the desire of men to the agent
which aroused them. Of course, women have played on the desires
of men, but even where this was true the blame for VULNERABILITY
has seldom been fully accepted. Whenever any one has been "weak"
or "foolish" or "sinful," his mind at once seeks avenues of
escape from the blame, from the painful feeling of inferiority
and self-reproach. The avenue of escape selected may be to blame
others as tempting or not warning and not teaching, may become
entirely delusional, or it may take the religious form of
confession, expiation and repentance. There are some so hardy in
their self-esteem that they never suffer, never seek any escape
from self-reproach, largely because they never feel it; and
others, though they seek escape, are continually dragged by
conscience to self-imposed torture.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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