All this is normal lying,--not habitual but occurring under
certain circumstances. As clearly motivated is the lying of the
braggart, the one who invents stories that emphasize his
exceptional qualities. The braggart however is a mere novice as
compared with the "pathological liar," who does not seem able to
tell the truth, who invents continually and who will often
deceive a whole group before he is found out. The motive here is
that curious type of superiority seeking which is the desire to
be piteously interesting, to hold the center of the stage by
virtue of adverse adventures or misfortunes. Hence the wild
white-slave yarns and the "orphan child" who has been abused.
Every police department knows these girls and boys, as does every
social service agency.
I am afraid we all yield to the desire to be interesting or to
make artistic our adventures. To tell of what happens to us, of
what we have seen or said or done exactly as it was, is
difficult, not only because of faulty memory, but because we like
to make the tale more like a story, because, let us say, of the
artist in us. Life is so incomplete and unfinished! We so rarely
retort as we should have! And a bald recital of most events is
not interesting and so,--the proportions are altered, humor is
introduced, the conversation becomes more witty, especially our
share, and the adventure is made a little more thrilling. And
each who tells of it adds little or much, and in the end what is
told never happened. "The Devil is the father of lies," runs the
old proverb. If so, we have all given birth to some of his
children.
Though direct lying is held to be harmful and socially
disastrous, and evidence of either fear and cowardice or
malevolence, the essential honesty of people is usually summed up
in the term sincerity. The advance of civilization is marked by
the appearance of toleration, the recognition that belief is a
private right, especially as concerns religion, and that
sincerity in belief is more important than the nature of belief.
What is really implied by sincerity is the absence of camouflage
or disguise, so that it becomes possible to know what a man
believes and thinks by his words and his acts. As a matter of
fact, that ideal is neither realized nor desirable, and it is as
wise and natural to inhibit the expression of our beliefs and
feelings as it is to inhibit our actions. To be frank with a man,
to tell him sincerely that we believe he is a scoundrel, and that
we hate him and to show this feeling by act, would be to plunge
the world into barbarism. We must disguise hate, and there are
times when we must disguise love. Sincerity is at the best only
relative; we ought to be sincere about love, religion and the
validity of our purposes, but in the little relationships
sincerity must be replaced by caution, courtesy and the needs of
efficiency. In reality we ask for sincerity only in what is
pleasant to us; the sincere whose frankness and honesty offend we
call boors.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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