The sex desires and instincts struggle with, overcome or
harmonize with the social instincts. It would be impossible to
portray even the simplest sex life from the mental standpoint.
The chastest woman who is unconscious of sex desire is motivated
by romance and the sex feelings and customs of others in her
ideas of happiness and right behavior. The cynical profligate,
indulging every sensual urge, in so far as he can, must guide
himself by the resistance of society, by the necessity of
camouflage, the fear of public opinion and often the impediment
of his own early training. Men and women start out perhaps as
romantic idealists, enter marriage, and in the course of their
experiences become almost frankly sensual. And in the opposite
direction, men and women wildly passionate in youth develop
counter tendencies that swing them into restraint and serene
self-control. There are those to whom sex is mere appetite, to be
indulged and put out of the way, so as not to interfere with the
great purposes of success; there are those to whom it is a
religion, carried on with ceremonials and rites; there are those
to whom it is an obsession, and their minds are in a sexual stew
at all times. There are the under-inhibited, spoken of above, and
there are the over-inhibited, Puritanical, rebelling at the flesh
as such, disguising all their emotions, reluctant to admit their
humanness and the validity of pleasure.
The romantic ideal, glorifying a sort of asexual love of perfect
men and women, asceticism which permits sex only as a sort of
necessary evil and sensuality which proclaims the pleasure of sex
as the only joy and scoffs at inhibition influence the lives of
us all. The effect of the forbidden, the tantalizing curiosity
aroused and the longing to rise above the level of lust make the
sex adjustment the most difficult of all and produce the queerest
results. Sex is a road to power and to failure, a road to health
and sickness. As in all adjustments, there are some who are
conscious of but few difficulties, who are moral or immoral
without struggle or discontent. Contrasted with these are the
ones who find morality a great burden, and those who, yielding to
desire, find continuous inner conflict and dissatisfaction and
lowered self-valuation as a result.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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