Not to spend too long a time over K.'s history, we may pass
quickly over his school years until he entered college. He was a
"grind" if there ever was one, studying day and night. He had
developed well physically and because of his hard work stood near
the top of his class. He took no "pleasures" of any kind,--that
is, he played no cards, went to no dances, never took in a show
and of course was strictly moral. It seems that the main factor
that held him back was the notion he had imbibed early in his
career that pleasure itself was somehow not worthy, that an ideal
of work made a sort of sin of wasting time. Whenever he indulged
himself by rest or relaxation, even in so innocent a way as to go
to a ball game, there was in the back of his mind the idea, "I
might have been studying this or that, or working on such a
subject; I am wasting time," and the pleasure would go. By nature
K. was sociable and friendly and was well liked, but he avoided
friendships and social life because of the unpleasant reproaches
of his work conscience and the rigor of his work inhibitions. He
grew tired, developed a neurasthenic set of symptoms, and thus I
first came in contact with him. Once he understood the nature of
his trouble, which I labeled for him as a "hypertrophied work
conscience," he set himself the task of learning to enjoy, of
throwing off inhibition, of innocent self-indulgence, and my
strong point that he would work the better for pleasure took his
fancy at once. He succeeded in part in his efforts, but of course
will always debate over the right and wrong of each step in his
life.
This one example of a high type of the over-inhibited must do for
the group. There is a related type who in ordinary speech find it
"difficult to make up their minds,"--in other words, are unable
to choose. Bleuler has used the term ambivalent, thus comparing
these individuals to a chemical element having two bonds and
impelled to unite with two substances. The ambivalent
personalities are always brought to a place where they yearn for
two opposing kinds of action or they fear to choose one affinity
of action as against the other. They are in the position of the
unfortunate swain who sang, "How happy I could be with either,
were t'other dear charmer away."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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