The over-inhibited, those whose every impulse and desire is
subjected to a scrutiny and a blocking, often come to the
attention of the neuropsychiatrist. But there are many "normal"
people who fall into this group, and whose conduct throughout
life is marked by a scrupulosity that is painful to behold. The
over-inhibition may take specific directions, as in the thrifty
who check their desires in the wish to save money, or the
industrious who hold up their pleasures and recreations in the
fear that they are wasting time. A sub-group of the
over-inhibited I call the over-conscientious, and it is one of
these whose history is epitomized here.
K. has always had "ingrowing scruples," as his exasperated mother
once said. As a small child he never obeyed the impulse to take a
piece of cake without looking around to see if his mother and
father approved. He would not play unreservedly, in the
whole-hearted impulsive way of children, but always held back in
his enjoyment as if he feared that perhaps he was not doing just
right. When he started to go to school his fear of doing the
wrong thing made him appear rather slow, though in reality he was
bright. The other children called him a "sissy," mistaking his
conscientiousness for cowardice. This grieved him very much, and
his father undertook to educate him in "rough" ways, in fighting
and wrestling. He succeeded in this to the extent that K. learned
to fight when he believed that he was being wronged, but he never
seemed to learn the aggressiveness necessary to get even a fair
share of his rights. His mother, a similar type, rather
encouraged him in this virtue, much to the disgust of the father.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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