When I was about 14 years of age, there was to be a confirmation by the bishop, at St. George’s church, Hanover-square: I was advised to go, and was endeavouring to prepare myself for this solemn act—but having a perpetual sense of some sins upon my mind, I could not, in conscience, go. I attempted to satisfy conscience, and to please God by my constant attendance on the church, and by my prayers and reading; but, alas! it was all in vain. I found these insufficient. I bought the “Whole Duty of Man,” {164} and sometimes laboured hard with that; the “Christian Monitor,” and several other such wretched books; Allen and Baxter’s “Alarm to the Unconverted;” which left me just as I was, as they have thousands of the unconverted beside. But, as to the gospel plan of salvation, I knew no more about it than the poor heathen in foreign climes. The family in which I lived were inimical to the gospel; they hated and persecuted all that dissented from the church, or professed religion. I had often heard them jeer the Methodists, for so religious people are called, whether Churchmen or Dissenters, and represent them as enemies to the church, to which I was so warmly attached. I also enquired what these people believed, and gained a most frightful description of them: as first, they prayed and preached without a book, except the Bible; that the preachers were only common ignorant mechanics; that they believed God had made some men to be saved, do what they would, and others to be damned, if they were ever so good; that they believed in three Gods; and that a man could not be saved, if he repented and did a thousand good works; and, in short, that they were all hypocrites together. These lies and misrepresentations were instilled into my mind, against the true followers of Christ. For some years I felt my enmity in my heart against them, and would have had them all banished the country, if I could. I have stood at the door of the house, and been grieved to see the people go to the meeting. My hatred rose against them in an awful manner; nor would I, for all the world, go into any chapel belonging to them; for I was told, if a person went in, they would catch their infection directly.