XIII. THE ROUGH WORDS SOCIETY 57 XIV. A NEW USE FOR HORSES 63 XV. A CALCULATING BORE 67 XVI. AN URBAN GAME 71 XVII. “DE GUSTIBUS” 75 XVIII. “BUFFUM’S BUSTLESS BUFFERS” 79 AT THE LITERARY COUNTER XIX. “THE FATHER OF SANTA CLAUS” 85 XX. THE DIALECT STORE 92 XXI. “FROM THE FRENCH” 100 XXII. ON THE VALUE OF DOGMATIC UTTERANCE 107 XXIII. THE SAD CASE OF DEACON PERKINS 112 XXIV. THE MISSING-WORD BORE 118 XXV. THE CONFESSIONS OF A CRITIC 122 XXVI. HOW ’RASMUS PAID THE MORTGAGE 128 XXVII. ’MIDST ARMED FOES 137 XXVIII. AT THE SIGN OF THE CYGNET 141 XXIX. A SCOTCH SKETCH 146 UNRELATED STORIES--RELATED XXX. EPHRATA SYMONDS’S DOUBLE LIFE 153 XXXI. A STRANGER TO LUCK 161 XXXII. CUPID ON RUNNERS 173 XXXIII. MY TRUTHFUL BURGLAR 183 XXXIV. THE MAN WITHOUT A WATCH 189 XXXV. THE WRECK OF THE “CATAPULT” 201 ESSAYS AT ESSAYS XXXVI. THE BULL, THE GIRL, AND THE RED SHAWL 211 XXXVII. CONCERNING DISH-WASHING 219 XXXVIII. A PERENNIAL FEVER 225 XXXIX. “AMICUS REDIVIVUS” 231 XL. THE PROPER CARE OF FLIES 236 NOTE I am indebted to the editors of the “Century”, the “Saturday Evening Post,” “Harper’s Bazaar,” “Puck,” the “Critic,” the “Criterion,” and the S. S. McClure Syndicate for permission to use the articles which first met printers’ ink in their columns. C. B. L. A FEW IDIOTISMS [Illustration] I THE FOUR-MASTED CAT-BOAT AN ETCHING OF THE SEA, BY A LANDLUBBER The sea lay low in the offing, and as far as the eye could reach, immense white-caps rode upon it as quietly as pond-lilies on the bosom of a lake. Fleecy clouds dotted the sky, and far off toward the horizon a full-rigged four-masted cat-boat lugged and luffed in the calm evening breezes. Her sails were piped to larboard, starboard, and port; and as she rolled steadily along in the heavy wash and undertow, her companion-light, already kindled, shed a delicate ray across the bay to where the dull red disk of the sun was dipping its colors. Her cordage lay astern, in the neat coils that seamen know so well how to make. The anchor had been weighed this half-hour, and the figures put down in the log; for Captain Bliffton was not a man to put off doing anything that lay in the day’s watch.